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Set phasers to stunning!
Yes, it's the third mindblowing Spinning Image
Newsletter!
Did you lose your heart to a Starship Trooper? Flashing light in hyperspace?
Fighting for the Federation? Hand in hand did you conquer space? Well,
you've arrived in the right place...
As a member you can send
your own news items for inclusion in future issues. These can be interesting
anecdotes, snippets you've heard or picked up off the net, ideas for future
newsletters or anything you think might interest other readers.
TRAVELLING THROUGH HYPERSPACE AIN'T LIKE DUSTING CROPS
Well, we all know what the greatest robot in the movies is: it's the
one from Rocky IV. But what about the greatest spaceship? Ah, that's
another matter isn't it? So here are five films that feature a spaceship
you wouldn't be ashamed to be seen in - or would you?
- First up, yer basic space rocket courtesy of the Flash
Gordon serials. You can make your own by sticking a sparkler in
the end of a washing up liquid bottle. If you think these rockets are
long, sleek and, let's face it, phallic, then perhaps you'd like one
of the rockets from Flesh Gordon instead. Sure to impress the ladies.
- Talking of the ladies, how about Barbarella's
chic transport? Looks a bit like a toaster with windows, but is fur
lined for comfort and has an extensive wardrobe. Plus a computer who's
even more polite than HAL 9000, but which tends to break down like Zen
off Blake's Seven. Love!
- Now for the daddy of spaceship movies - Starcrash! No, wait,
I mean Star Wars, which contains a huge array of hardware. I
don't know about you, but I prefer the models in the original trilogy
to the new CGI efforts, and the favourite has to be the Millenium Falcon
for all your intergalactic business. But if you're after something smaller,
then you have to decide on the boring X-Wings or joining the Dark Side
with those manoueverable TIE Fighters. I know what I'd choose - the
one that makes the coolest noise.
- If its aesthetics you look for in your transport, can I recommend
the brightly lit flying saucers from Close Encounters of the Third
Kind? They come in various sizes, from the cheeky little runabout
(for popping down to the shops in) to the giant chandelier-like mothership
(for those longer journeys). The mothership also has a hell of a stereo
system. You're never alone with these!
- Lastly, if you want to blow things up real good, then Independence
Day is the movie for you. These giant sized saucers contain their
own army and a superduper death ray for levelling cultural landmarks.
Only problem is that they're compatible with Earth software, and prone
to bugs 'n' hackers. I bet they didn't mention that when you bought
it.
Any other spaceships you would like to be seen in? Let us know...
MEXICAN MAYHEM [From Steve Langton...]
Vampires, wrestling women, medical deviates, giant rubber bats..... just
a few inhabitants of the wonderful world of Mexican horror cinema. Thanks
to film producer K. Gordon Murray, American tv viewers were treated to
English language versions of 30 very odd films, following meticulous re-dubbing
at Chirabusco Azteca studio and, latterly, Murray's very own Soundlab.
Many of these films were released on DVD by the now defunct Beverly Wilshire
Filmworks and although they aren't easy to track down, the likes of Spiritism,
Curse
of the Crying Woman, The Brainiac and Samson in the
Wax Museum can be found on ebay. To get the lowdown on these films
check out the excellent K.Gordon
Murray site. Also look out for reviews on The Spinning Image.
UDOWATCH
Just a quick note to say that the first series of Lars von Trier's The
Kingdom is out on DVD now - Udo plays a small but important role.
It also features THAT Udo-tastic cliffhanger at the end.
GUILTY PLEASURES
Steve Langton has some owning up to do... here are the films he's a little
guilty about enjoying:
- Mad Dog Murderer. A nasty piece of Euro sleaze where foxy Marisa
Mel spends mucho screen time in various states of undress, thanks to
Helmut Berger.
- The Firm. Gary Oldman and his team of top boys bring terror
to the terraces en-route to a soccer hooligans 'Battle Royale'. From
the days when lads were lads and the police were nowhere to be seen.
- Massacre In Dinosaur Valley. Don't even ask!
- Don't Ride on Late Night Trains. Aah, Macha "Deep Red"
Meril and co wreak havoc on Midland Mainline. Not quite, but such a
concept would certainly transform those boring train journeys. Seriously
nasty.
Any more suggestions? Let
us know.
ONCE UPON A TIME IN A NEWSLETTER FAR FAR AWAY...
The Internet is, of course, the natural home for all things Star Wars.
And to prove it, here are a few sites on a Star Wars theme. Strong, the
Force is in them.
http://www.asciimation.co.nz/
Pride of place goes to Asciimation Wars, which depicts Episode IV in a
pure text version. Well, most of it, anyway. My favourite bit: "Vader,
release him!" Peter Cushing in ASCII - this is what the Internet
was designed for.
http://atomfilms.com
Take your pick from an abundance of Star
Wars animations and spoofs.
http://www.reasonablyclever.com/
This site creates various Lego figures, from your own good self to superheroes
and Star Trek personnel. But it's the Star Wars characters we're interested
in, so go forth and replicate Darth Vader, a stormtrooper or Boba Fett.
http://www.bobafett.com
Speak of the devil, here's the fan club of Mr Robert A. Fett himself.
Life's nothing if you aren't obsessed, and here's the site to prove it.
They will certainly be impressed with Episode II - not only is Boba in
it, he's brought his dad, too. Strange how the Jeremy Bulloch biography
doesn't mention his superb starring role in Can You Keep It Up For
A Week?
http://www.carriefisher.com
For someone who's purported to be a big fan of the Internet, Carrie Fisher's
homepage is, sadly, rubbish. With the barest minimum of info, and lots
of "Coming Soon" notices, the site hasn't been updated since
1999. The only link on the "Links" page is one to her mother's
much better site: http://www.debbiereynolds.com/
- which is far more tasteful than this: http://princess-leia.andschultehavesex.com/
(what the hell is it on about? - Ed!)
http://www.wcug.wwu.edu/~johnb/starwars/
Never mind the X-Wings, where can you find a decent Y-Wing? This bloke
has many of these oft-neglected Rebel starfighters up for sale second hand
- but he won't rip you off.
http://www.impossiblefunky.com/archives/issue_9/9_turk.asp?IshNum=9
A quick article on the legendary Turkish, er, "adaptation" of
Star Wars.
ARTICLES
As a member you can send
your own articles for inclusion on the site. These can be on any cult
movie related subject - although you might like to email me before embarking
on a massive project which is then deemed unsuitable. On the whole though,
if you think it might interest other readers it's good enough for us.
REST IN PEACE
Ex-porn superstar Linda Lovelace died in April aged 53 from injuries
sustained in a car crash. Her most infamous film was Deep
Throat, a phenomenon in the 1970's, but she later claimed she
had been forced into her porn career and became an anti-porn campaigner.
Her few other films included Linda
Lovelace for President.
Stage actor Michael Bryant died aged 74 at the end of April. He made
appearances in Torture Garden, The Ruling Class, Hamlet
(the Branagh version), Nicholas and Alexandra and Ghandi
but is probably best known for starring in The Stone Tape on TV.
Director George Sidney died in May aged 85. Some of his many films included
Ziegfeld Follies, The Three Musketeers (the Gene Kelly version),
Annie Get Your Gun, Kiss Me Kate (in 3D), Viva Las Vegas,
The Swinger and Half A Sixpence.
Illustrator and writer Bill Peet died in May aged 97. He worked on many
of Disney's most famous films, including Dumbo, Fantasia,
Cinderella and One Hundred and One Dalmations. He supposedly
based the design of Captain Hook in Peter Pan on Walt Disney after
one of their many rows.
Comedienne Pat Coombs made mostly TV appearances, but she had small roles
in films like Carry On Doctor, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate
Factory, Dad's Army, Ooh You Are Awful and Adolf
Hitler: My Part in his Downfall. She died at the end of May aged 71.
Musician Dee Dee Ramone died of drugs-related causes at the start of June aged 49. On film, the Ramones are best remembered for providing the soundtrack to Rock 'n' Roll High School, but also appeared in the documentary 1991: The Year That Punk Broke. Dee Dee was also in the G.G. Allin film Hated and wrote the theme song for Pet Sematary.
Producer and writer Herman Cohen died of cancer in June, aged 74. He became successful producing low budget horrors like I Was A Teenage Werewolf and I Was A Teenage Frankenstein, and went on to write and produce Horrors of the Black Museum, Konga and Trog, among others.
NEW REVIEWS
New reviews on the site include:
The Long Good Friday
Nosferatu the Vampyre
Kandahar
Dead
or Alive
The
Sadistic Baron Von Klaus
Monty
Python's The Meaning of Life
The
Rise and Rise of Michael Rimmer
The
Blob
Baron
Blood
Brotherhood
of the Wolf
Audition
Female
Vampire
Sleepless
Bully
MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU
Any comments? Type them into the little
box on the Spinning Image site.
And now we have to strap ourselves into our second hand TIE Fighter and
bid you farewell as we hurtle into the void. But we'll be back! Oh, yes,
we'll be back all right! Just like Emperor Ming the Merciless! Yeah! What?
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