HOME |  CULT MOVIES | COMPETITIONS | ADVERTISE |  CONTACT US |  ABOUT US
 
 
 
Newest Reviews
American Fiction
Poor Things
Thunderclap
Zeiram
Legend of the Bat
Party Line
Night Fright
Pacha, Le
Kimi
Assemble Insert
Venus Tear Diamond, The
Promare
Beauty's Evil Roses, The
Free Guy
Huck and Tom's Mississippi Adventure
Rejuvenator, The
Who Fears the Devil?
Guignolo, Le
Batman, The
Land of Many Perfumes
Cat vs. Rat
Tom & Jerry: The Movie
Naked Violence
Joyeuses Pacques
Strangeness, The
How I Became a Superhero
Golden Nun
Incident at Phantom Hill
Winterhawk
Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City
Maigret Sets a Trap
B.N.A.
Hell's Wind Staff, The
Topo Gigio and the Missile War
Battant, Le
Penguin Highway
Cazadore de Demonios
Snatchers
Imperial Swordsman
Foxtrap
   
 
Newest Articles
3 From Arrow Player: Sweet Sugar, Girls Nite Out and Manhattan Baby
Little Cat Feat: Stephen King's Cat's Eye on 4K UHD
La Violence: Dobermann at 25
Serious Comedy: The Wrong Arm of the Law on Blu-ray
DC Showcase: Constantine - The House of Mystery and More on Blu-ray
Monster Fun: Three Monster Tales of Sci-Fi Terror on Blu-ray
State of the 70s: Play for Today Volume 3 on Blu-ray
The Movie Damned: Cursed Films II on Shudder
The Dead of Night: In Cold Blood on Blu-ray
Suave and Sophisticated: The Persuaders! Take 50 on Blu-ray
Your Rules are Really Beginning to Annoy Me: Escape from L.A. on 4K UHD
A Woman's Viewfinder: The Camera is Ours on DVD
Chaplin's Silent Pursuit: Modern Times on Blu-ray
The Ecstasy of Cosmic Boredom: Dark Star on Arrow
A Frosty Reception: South and The Great White Silence on Blu-ray
You'll Never Guess Which is Sammo: Skinny Tiger and Fatty Dragon on Blu-ray
Two Christopher Miles Shorts: The Six-Sided Triangle/Rhythm 'n' Greens on Blu-ray
Not So Permissive: The Lovers! on Blu-ray
Uncomfortable Truths: Three Shorts by Andrea Arnold on MUBI
The Call of Nostalgia: Ghostbusters Afterlife on Blu-ray
Moon Night - Space 1999: Super Space Theater on Blu-ray
Super Sammo: Warriors Two and The Prodigal Son on Blu-ray
Sex vs Violence: In the Realm of the Senses on Blu-ray
What's So Funny About Brit Horror? Vampira and Bloodbath at the House of Death on Arrow
Keeping the Beatles Alive: Get Back
   
 
  Hardbodies Beach Party: The Next Generation
Year: 1984
Director: Mark Griffiths
Stars: Grant Cramer, Teal Roberts, Gary Wood, Michael Rapport, Sorrells Pickard, Roberta Collins, Cindy Silver, Courtney Gains, Kristi Somers, Crystal Shaw, Darcy DeMoss, Antony Ponzini, Marvin Katzoff, Kip Waldo, Michael Miller, Kane Hodder, Joyce Jameson
Genre: Comedy, SexBuy from Amazon
Rating:  6 (from 1 vote)
Review: Scotty (Grant Cramer) has just woken up to enjoy sexual intercourse with his girlfriend Kristi (Teal Roberts), which he regards as an ideal start to the day he plans to spend the same way he has the other days of the year, as a beach bum taking odd jobs for the visitors to this stretch of golden Californian sand. However, maybe he had better think about a more comprehensive life plan for his landlord serves him with an eviction notice from his apartment, and now he has nowhere to live; Kristi can't help, and he doesn't know anyone else who could. But who can tell where the day can take him, as after escaping a gang of morons he happens to meet a trio of middle-aged guys with a proposition for him...

Hardbodies, as with Screwballs and even the big hitter among the eighties sex comedy, Porky's, was a film that became best appreciated for the amount of young ladies willing to doff their togs for the camera. There was a plethora of such cheap to make efforts arriving in this decade before a certain new puritanism took over in the following decades which saw fewer and fewer examples of gratuitous nudity in mainstream movies, specifically comedies, and there are many of a particular age who shed a small tear for that lapse, so much so that it's genuinely surprising to see it in the twenty-first century. Before Columbia released it in cinemas, Hardbodies had actually been made by Playboy TV as an opportunistic cash-in on the Porky's-led phenomenon, which may not raise your hopes.

Unless your hopes involve seeing lots of those ladies in a state of undress, in which case you would be more than satisfied, yet if you sought a little more substance to such things because you want to feel as if you're not some creature operating on its most carnal instincts, then funnily enough Hardbodies did have that as well. Obviously watching it these days nostalgia plays a large part in the appeal, but Scotty, our hero, was not some brainless sex fiend, he did have integrity and though he flirts he stays faithful to Kristi. However, when you hear the plot which involved the trio of older guys hiring him to get attractive women to be interested in them, i.e. be persuaded into bed, then you could be forgiven for having reservations, but then the film makes it clear Scotty isn't keen on being the pimp.

Though he does need the cash, and the leader of the sleazy guys, Hunter (Gary Wood) does offer him a place to live in his beachside apartment so how can he refuse? Then the film becomes a how to pick up girls manual for presumably the sort of fellow who would be watching Playboy TV as Scotty puts his new acquaintances through their paces, with the result that against the odds they do appear fun to be with the nubile young lovelies and it's all going very well. If this is sounding rather insulting to the women who according to this fall for such patter then all of a sudden a more interesting element pops up as Kristi surveys the scene of one of her boyfriend's organised parties and doesn't like what she sees. And she tells him as much in no uncertain terms, conjuring up the kind of soul searching you wouldn't have expected.

Of course there are flaws to this movie, its trashy and silly and goes for the obvious whenever possible, not to mention this is the whitest Californian beach you ever did see (not talking about the sand), but there were more laughs than you might anticipate, nothing fall down hilarious but enough to endear itself to you. Then there's that self-analysis of the genre (now that does seem Californian, putting sex comedies on the psychiatrist's couch), which may not amount to much more than Kristi's sister Kimberly (Cindy Silver) admiring her own topless form in the mirror and wondering aloud "Why do guys like boobs so much?" (I dunno... aesthetics?) but there was also a scene where Candy (Crystal Shaw - lots of very eighties names for the actresses in this movie) nearly has the increasingly overbearing Hunter force himself on her after getting the wrong idea from her raunchy chat and Scotty sympathetically makes her see sense. All this and Courtney Gains fresh from the cornfields, plus the rare, all-female hair metal band Vixen in speaking roles and playing tunes offered more value for this ephemera.
Reviewer: Graeme Clark

 

This review has been viewed 4593 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

 
Review Comments (0)


Untitled 1

Login
  Username:
 
  Password:
 
   
 
Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.
   

Latest Poll
Which star probably has psychic powers?
Laurence Fishburne
Nicolas Cage
Anya Taylor-Joy
Patrick Stewart
Sissy Spacek
Michelle Yeoh
Aubrey Plaza
Tom Cruise
Beatrice Dalle
Michael Ironside
   
 
   

Recent Visitors
Mary Sibley
Enoch Sneed
Darren Jones
Mark Le Surf-hall
  Louise Hackett
Andrew Pragasam
Graeme Clark
  Desbris M
   

 

Last Updated: