HOME |  CULT MOVIES | COMPETITIONS | ADVERTISE |  CONTACT US |  ABOUT US
 
 
Newest Reviews
You've Been Trumped Too
Woman in Black, The
Elvis: That's the Way It Is
Man Who Laughs, The
Watch List
Giraffe
Kat and the Band
Echo
Perfect 10
Octaman
Red Penguins
China Syndrome, The
Babyteeth
Round-Up, The
Around the Sun
Once There Was Brasilia
Peripheral
Dead Pigeon on Beethoven Street
Ice
She Demons
Good Girls, The
Hail, Hero!
Faces in the Crowd
Tamango
Traitor, The
Tomorrow
Third Generation, The
Saxon Charm, The
Spy Intervention
Moonrise
Mulan
Killer with a Thousand Eyes, The
Vigil, The
Liberation of L.B. Jones, The
Wizard of Baghdad, The
Ride
Good Manners
Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo
Sweet Home
Big Score, The
   
 
Newest Articles
For God's Sake Strap Yourselves Down: Flash Gordon on 4K UHD Collector's Edition
Party Hard: Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure on Blu-ray
Network On Air: Nights in with ABC 2 - Your Faces are All Blurred!
Eve Knew Her Apples: The Lady Eve on Blu-ray
Network On Air: Tempo - Gallery One
Network On Air: Nights In with ABC 1 - Welcome Once Again to Manchester!
Transformative Apocalypses: Phase IV and Southland Tales
The Happiest Days of Their Lives: The Guinea Pig on Blu-ray
Faced Poe: Three Edgar Allan Poe Adaptations Starring Bela Lugosi on Blu-ray
Hard Luck, Buster: The Cameraman on Blu-ray
At the Hop: Mr. Vampire on Blu-ray
Divine Madness: Female Trouble on Blu-ray
Country Matters: Further Out of Town on Blu-ray
Bat-Damn: Was Joel Schumacher's Batman Really That Bad?
The Beat Goes On: Takeshi Kitano Collection on Blu-ray
Dream Treats: Scorsese Shorts on Blu-ray
It's Only Money: Laughter in Paradise on Blu-ray
A Regular Terpsichore: Dance, Girl, Dance on Blu-ray
Teenage Trauma: Baby Love on Blu-ray
The Happening: Pet Shop Boys It Couldn't Happen Here on Blu-ray
Who Watched The Watchmen?
The Golden Age of Colonic Irrigation: Monty Python Series 4 on Blu-ray
Lady of Pleasure: Lola Montes on Blu-ray
Take You to the Gay Bar: Funeral Parade of Roses on Blu-ray
Hit for Ms: Mark Cousins' Women Make Film on Blu-ray
   
 
  Knights of Bloodsteel Name that ore
Year: 2009
Director: Philip Spink
Stars: David James Elliott, Natassia Malthe, Christopher Lloyd, Christopher Jacot, Dru Viergever, Peter Bryant, Mark Gibbon, Mackenzie Gray, Heather Doerksen, Adrian Hough, Gwyneth Walsh, Michael Heltay, Julian Christopher, Deanna Milligan, Brenna O’Brien
Genre: Fantasy, Adventure, TV MovieBuy from Amazon
Rating:  5 (from 1 vote)
Review: From the creators of Tin Man, the sci-fi re-imagining of The Wizard of Oz, comes this sub-Lord of the Rings fantasy adventure. In the realm of Mirabilis, humans, elves and goblins depend upon a mystical ore called "bloodsteel" of which there is a drastic shortage. Monstrous sorcerer Dragon Eye (Mark Gibbon) wants a monopoly over the ore so he can revive his comatose son and go on to rule the world, but elven sorcerer Tesselink (Christopher Lloyd) learns of a prophecy foretelling the rise of four brave knights able to seek out the Crucible: a near-mythical inexhaustible supply of bloodsteel. Leading this quartet is his granddaughter, kickass super-babe Perfidia (Natassia Malthe), accompanied by vengeance-seeking Irish warrior John Serragoth (David James Elliot), sickly albino goblin Ber-Lak (Dru Viergever) and dandyish rogue Adric (Christopher Jacot). Together they embark on a perilous quest.

More Gary Gygax than J.R.R. Tolkien, Knights of Bloodsteel lumbers confusingly through a lot pseudo-mystical hoo-doo with conflicting prophecies and characters developing new super-powers at convenient moments in lieu of compelling human drama. The juvenile plot has that make-it-up-as-you-go quality in common with fantasy role-playing games, but while Dungeons & Dragons fans may warm nostalgically to familiar sword and sorcery situations involving latex goblins and CGI dragons, less forgiving viewers will find themselves faced with more questions than answers. Why do the elves have fangs? Why is Dragon Eye's son a human boy? Why does rescued peasant girl Maya (Deanna Milligan) harbour such contempt for heroine Perfidia? Why does Grell (Michael Heltay), the blind monk on whom our heroes rely to translate sacred scrolls, behave like such a panicky idiot? What happened to Christopher Lloyd's career? The Back to the Future star is wasted in the token Gandalf/Obi Wan Kenobi role, making an early exit.

On the positive side, this two-parter does take a brave stab at depth and complexity as an array of occasionally obtuse subplots finally coalesce into an intriguing theme of free will versus destiny. There are a handful of unique tweaks to the fantasy formula such as secret negotiations between minor good and evil characters to end hostilities, and the atypical allowance of goblins to be noble, self-sacrificing heroes. Despite sporting the same post-LOTR gritty, rough-hewn, Celtic visuals that have left so much fantasy cinema so tiresomely identical, there are some cool steampunk concepts and visuals with endearingly loopy ideas including clockwork grenades, propellor-driven missiles and a remote-controlled cyborg killer barmaid!

Hoary dialogue abounds and performances are largely pitched at pantomime level, with one or two exceptions. Christopher Jacot is great fun as foppish womanizer and wheeler-dealer Adric, who rouses an imperilled village into battle and learns he isn't quite as mercenary as he thought himself to be. Norwegian star Natassia Malthe shoulders most of the dramatic weight, sporting a clipped British accent and cute fangs, bringing conviction to a cliché. With feisty fantasy roles in the likes of DOA: Dead or Alive (2006), Skinwalkers (2006), and the forthcoming Vikingdom (2011) among others, Malthe is fast becoming DTV cinema's definitive amazon warrior-babe, though one wishes some writer would pen a sword and sorcery romp more worthy of her.

Reviewer: Andrew Pragasam

 

This review has been viewed 1490 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

 
Review Comments (0)


Untitled 1

Login
  Username:
 
  Password:
 
   
 
Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.
   

Latest Poll
Which star is the best at shouting?
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Brian Blessed
Tiffany Haddish
Steve Carell
Olivia Colman
Captain Caveman
Sylvester Stallone
Gerard Butler
Samuel L. Jackson
Bipasha Basu
   
 
   

Recent Visitors
Graeme Clark
Paul Smith
Darren Jones
Andrew Pragasam
  Lee Fiveash
  Mick Stewart
Enoch Sneed
  Dsfgsdfg Dsgdsgsdg
   

 

Last Updated: