HOME |  CULT MOVIES | COMPETITIONS | ADVERTISE |  CONTACT US |  ABOUT US
 
 
Newest Reviews
1917
Tree House, The
Sputnik
Seducao da Carne
Yes, God, Yes
Five Graves to Cairo
You've Been Trumped Too
Woman in Black, The
Elvis: That's the Way It Is
Man Who Laughs, The
Watch List
Giraffe
Kat and the Band
Echo
Perfect 10
Octaman
Red Penguins
China Syndrome, The
Babyteeth
Round-Up, The
Around the Sun
Once There Was Brasilia
Peripheral
Dead Pigeon on Beethoven Street
Ice
She Demons
Good Girls, The
Hail, Hero!
Faces in the Crowd
Tamango
Traitor, The
Tomorrow
Third Generation, The
Saxon Charm, The
Spy Intervention
Moonrise
Mulan
Killer with a Thousand Eyes, The
Vigil, The
Liberation of L.B. Jones, The
   
 
Newest Articles
What Use is Grief to a Horse? Equus on Blu-ray
For God's Sake Strap Yourselves Down: Flash Gordon on 4K UHD Collector's Edition
Party Hard: Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure on Blu-ray
Network On Air: Nights in with ABC 2 - Your Faces are All Blurred!
Eve Knew Her Apples: The Lady Eve on Blu-ray
Network On Air: Tempo - Gallery One
Network On Air: Nights In with ABC 1 - Welcome Once Again to Manchester!
Transformative Apocalypses: Phase IV and Southland Tales
The Happiest Days of Their Lives: The Guinea Pig on Blu-ray
Faced Poe: Three Edgar Allan Poe Adaptations Starring Bela Lugosi on Blu-ray
Hard Luck, Buster: The Cameraman on Blu-ray
At the Hop: Mr. Vampire on Blu-ray
Divine Madness: Female Trouble on Blu-ray
Country Matters: Further Out of Town on Blu-ray
Bat-Damn: Was Joel Schumacher's Batman Really That Bad?
The Beat Goes On: Takeshi Kitano Collection on Blu-ray
Dream Treats: Scorsese Shorts on Blu-ray
It's Only Money: Laughter in Paradise on Blu-ray
A Regular Terpsichore: Dance, Girl, Dance on Blu-ray
Teenage Trauma: Baby Love on Blu-ray
The Happening: Pet Shop Boys It Couldn't Happen Here on Blu-ray
Who Watched The Watchmen?
The Golden Age of Colonic Irrigation: Monty Python Series 4 on Blu-ray
Lady of Pleasure: Lola Montes on Blu-ray
Take You to the Gay Bar: Funeral Parade of Roses on Blu-ray
   
 
  Texas Across the River Laugh Yourself into the Lone Star State
Year: 1966
Director: Michael Gordon
Stars: Dean Martin, Alain Delon, Rosemary Forsyth, Joey Bishop, Tina Aumont, Peter Graves, Michael Ansara, Andrew Prine, Richard Farnsworth, Stuart Anderson
Genre: Western, ComedyBuy from Amazon
Rating:  6 (from 1 vote)
Review: Spanish aristocrat Don Andrea Baldazar (Alain Delon) is set to marry his sweetheart, southern belle Phoebe Ann Naylor (Rosemary Forsyth), when wedding is crashed by cavalry officers led by Captain Rodney Stimpson (Mission Impossible’s Peter Graves). Evidently, Phoebe Ann was a former girlfriend of Stimpson’s cousin, Lieutenant Yancy Cottle (Stuart Anderson), who attempts to abduct the bride and is accidentally slain by Don Andrea. Don Andrea flees across the border to Texas where cowboy Sam Hollis (Dean Martin) and his Indian sidekick Kronk (Joey Bishop) trick him into helping transport a wagonload of guns to the imperilled settlers at Moccasin Flats. After Don Andrea chivalrously rescues an Indian girl called Loneta (achingly lovely Tina Aumont), the quarrelsome duo are pursued by Comanche Indians. Their relationship is further fraught after the ever-lecherous Sam takes a shine to the newly-arrived Phoebe Ann.

“Just the sound of Texas gets me blue in the solar plexus!” sing the Kingston Trio. Their theme tune stands out amidst the surf guitar and Hammond organ soundtrack composed by Sammy Cahn and James Van Heusen, which alongside the cartoon credits sets the goofy tone for this amiable comedy western. A typically knockabout romp from the mid-Sixties, this comes from director Michael Gordon, who made film noir thrillers and the original Cyrano de Bergerac (1950) till he fell victim to the Communist blacklist. Producer Ross Hunter lured Gordon into a comeback directing Doris Day classics Pillow Talk (1959) and Move Over Darling (1963) and Texas Across the River is firmly in that tradition of frothy fun. It is mostly amusing, although veers uncomfortably between satirising mid-western ignorance (e.g. the cavalrymen think wealthy aristocrat Don Andrea a “freeloading immigrant”) and indulging in racist jokes. Just count how many times somebody wisecracks “in the dark all redskins look alike.” As well as casting Rat Pack court jester Joey Bishop as the wacky comedy sidekick, most of the Indians here are portrayed as cowardly, lecherous or plain inept. Plus there comes a truly tasteless gag when Sam complains why wasn’t Kronk born a Comanche and he replies: “Mother run too fast.”

Counterbalancing things slightly is the fact it takes Loneta to show white men how to tame a herd of Longhorn cattle, while Don Andrea decently defends her from the townsfolk who try to hand her over and save their own hides. Half-Spanish Tina Aumont (billed here under her then-married name as Tina Marquand) imbues Loneta with a degree of grace and dignity, belying her casting as a sort of flower child love interest, while Rosemary Forsyth’s delicious southern belle gets a fair shake too, given she is who finally proves Don Andrea’s innocence. The sweet romance that gently unfolds between the Spaniard and the Indian girl is more agreeable than Sam’s frequent attempts to cop a feel off Phoebe Ann. While Dean Martin is his usual laid-back, affable self, Alain Delon shines in an all-too rare comic role. This was another of the French icon’s infrequent attempts to kick-start a Hollywood career and, while no more successful than Once a Thief (1965) or Scorpio (1973), he proves a genuine hoot with his propensity for passionately kissing men on the cheek. “If you aim to stay healthy in these parts you better learn to shake hands”, remarks Sam.

Reviewer: Andrew Pragasam

 

This review has been viewed 3541 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

 
Review Comments (0)


Untitled 1

Login
  Username:
 
  Password:
 
   
 
Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.
   

Latest Poll
Which star is the best at shouting?
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Brian Blessed
Tiffany Haddish
Steve Carell
Olivia Colman
Captain Caveman
Sylvester Stallone
Gerard Butler
Samuel L. Jackson
Bipasha Basu
   
 
   

Recent Visitors
Graeme Clark
Paul Smith
Darren Jones
Andrew Pragasam
  Lee Fiveash
  Mick Stewart
Enoch Sneed
  Dsfgsdfg Dsgdsgsdg
   

 

Last Updated: