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  Three Unhappy To Be On An Island In The Sun
Year: 2005
Director: Stewart Raffill
Stars: Billy Zane, Kelly Brook, Juan Pablo Di Pace, Todd Collins, Victoria Di Pace, Gabrielle Jourdan, Gary Brockette, Isabelle Constantini
Genre: ThrillerBuy from Amazon
Rating:  4 (from 1 vote)
Review: A young woman, Jenny (Kelly Brook) swims across the ocean, nearing exhaustion when she sights land. Washing up on the shore of a desert island, she thinks back to the chain of events that have brought her to this dire situation. Just a day before she had boarded a boat with her husband Jack (Billy Zane), and as they arrived, a girlfriend of one of the crew, Manuel (Juan Pablo Di Pace), showed up in a high dudgeon, they had an argument and he hit her to silence her ranting. Jack found this unacceptable and was going to confront Manuel but Jenny persuaded him to leave them be. However, this incident proves the reason they end up shipwrecked as the spurned woman returned home and performed a voodoo ceremony to exact her revenge - yet it's not only Manuel who will suffer...

No, the audience will as well! Ho ho! You know that bit in Dr. No where Ursula Andress emerges from the sea in a bikini? Well, if you enjoyed that scene, then here's a whole film based around that concept, with Brook in the Andress role. If what you need in your life is a beach-based erotic thriller written and directed by the man who brought the world Mac and Me, then Three is the film for you. Taking it's cue from previous works such as The Blue Lagoon, Swept Away and Castaway, but not as far as I could tell Cast Away with Tom Hanks, this film trundles its predictable course amidst beautiful scenery and tepid sexual tension.

At first Jenny is the only person who's washed up on the beach, but soon she is joined by the captain who unfortunately is somewhat dead. On the other hand, here's Manuel stumbling through the waves to Jenny's rescue, and they bury the captain's body, then construct a Robinson Crusoe style shelter to relax under. Manuel is a handy chap to have around, as not only has he brought his goggles to assist in fishing, he makes a spear and soon he is Jenny's provider. But he also has designs on her, as we see when he whips off his shorts to go for a "sweem" and encourages Jenny to disrobe and do the same. It's bits like this that a fair amount of the audience will be watching for, but they'll be disappointed Brook doesn't undress as quite much as they might have anticipated.

Instead, Stewart Raffill prefers to concentrate on the suspense angle, which is upped when two days after Jen and Man have arrived, Jack washes up as well, in a delirious state. Now, Zane doesn't appear to be taking his role very seriously, and at times his performance verges on camp, but nevertheless we're meant to be thrilled when a love triangle develops. Jack and his rival butt heads over who will be fetching the food for Jenny and they soon fall out, sulking in two separate shelters that Jenny moves between depending on who she favours. She seems like the only sensible one there until the script demands she turn all femme fatale for plot reasons and she encourages Manuel to get rid of Jack for good. And all the while the voodoo ceremonies go on... Three is pretty ridiculous in the main, more likely to provoke unintentional laughter than anything else, but Brook's good looks and Zane's amusing acting provide a few diversions. Music by Richard Harvey.
Reviewer: Graeme Clark


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