HOME |  CULT MOVIES | COMPETITIONS | ADVERTISE |  CONTACT US |  ABOUT US
 
 
 
Newest Reviews
Killer Therapy
Man Upstairs, The
Bloodhound, The
New Mutants, The
Tesla
Flame of New Orleans, The
Ham on Rye
Imperial Blue
Tenet
August 32nd on Earth
Don is Dead, The
Seven Sinners
Body of Water
Away
Soul
About Endlessness
Let It Snow
Ava
Deliver Us from Evil
Shark Attack 3: Megalodon
Midnight Sky, The
Lego Star Wars Holiday Special, The
Mon Oncle Antoine
Blast of Silence
Blackout, The
Stars in Your Eyes
Alone
Climate of the Hunter
Farewell Amor
Let's Scare Julie
Okko's Inn
Shaolin vs. Wu Tang
Fatman
Butt Boy
Dog of Flanders, The
Bushido Blade, The
Jiu Jitsu
Blind
Space Sheriff Gavan: The Movie
Fireworks, Should We See It from the Side or the Bottom?
   
 
Newest Articles
Chaney Chillers: Inner Sanctum Mysteries - The Complete Film Series on Blu-ray
Adelphi Extras: Stars in Your Eyes on Blu-ray
Toons for the Heads: Fantastic Planet and Adult Animation
Nature Girl: The New World on Blu-ray
Network Double Bills: Perfect Friday and Robbery
Network Double Bills: The House in Nightmare Park and The Man Who Haunted Himself
Newley Minted: The Strange World of Gurney Slade on Blu-ray
Bad Love: The Night Porter on Blu-ray
Brevity is the Soul of Weird: Short Sharp Shocks on Blu-ray
Get Your Ass to Mars: Total Recall on Blu-ray
Call the Professionals: Le Cercle Rouge on Blu-ray
When There's No More Room in Hell: Dawn of the Dead on Blu-ray
The Butterfly Effect: Mothra on Blu-ray
Living Room Theatre: Play for Today Volume 1 on Blu-ray
Didn't He Do Well: The Bruce Forsyth Show on DVD
Blood Wedding: The Bride with White Hair on Blu-ray
The Inhuman Element: The Ladykillers on 4K UHD
As You Like It, Baby: Breathless on Blu-ray
Stargazing: Light Entertainment Rarities on DVD
Down to the Welles: Orson Welles Great Mysteries Volume 2 on DVD
Herding Cats: Sleepwalkers on Blu-ray
Confessions of a Porn Star: Adult Material on DVD
They're Still Not Sure It is a Baby: Eraserhead on Blu-ray
Werewolves are Real: Dog Soldiers on Digital
Rose: A Love Story - Producers April Kelley and Sara Huxley Interview
   
 
  Bird Box We Close Our Eyes
Year: 2018
Director: Susanne Bier
Stars: Sandra Bullock, Trevante Rhodes, John Malkovich, Sarah Paulson, Jacki Weaver, Rosa Salazar, Danielle Macdonald, Lil Rey Howery, Tom Hollander, Machine Gun Kelly, BD Wong, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Parminder Nagra, Rebecca Pidgeon
Genre: Horror, Science FictionBuy from Amazon
Rating:  4 (from 1 vote)
Review: Five years ago, artist Mallory (Sandra Bullock) was an expectant mother who was unsure if she really wanted her child, and despite the urgings of her partner Jessica (Sarah Paulson) who wanted to keep the baby, she was sceptical that she would ever find it in her heart to be a loving parent. One morning, with about a month to go before the birth, she was at the hospital for her check up when the riots that had been occurring across parts of the world finally ended up where she was, and incredibly quickly too. As the afflicted began to behave violently, committing suicide and attacking others, Mallory watched in horror as Jessica crashed their car and stepped into the path of a moving truck...

There had been quite a number of apocalypses where the victims turned abruptly murderous, in the pages of novels as well as on the screen, by the point director Susanne Bier's science fiction horror Bird Box was released, and that was to its detriment. Luckily for this, it was released on Netflix as well as selected cinemas, so according to them an estimated forty-five million subscribers, probably more, watched it in its first week on the platform, meaning it certainly found an audience, even if it was an audience of those too sated with Christmas food to bother to rise from the sofa and do something else instead. It was accurate to observe far fewer of those millions would return to it for another viewing.

This was based on a novel by Josh Malerman, apparently written after a close reading of Stephen King's book Cell (also later a film), which he may or may not have thought he could concoct a better version of than the master of horror. Bird Box had the misfortune to be released a few months after the similar A Quiet Place, only there you couldn't make a sound: in this, you couldn't risk seeing anything once outside as invisible monsters would possess you and force you to behave violently out of character. The earlier movie had cleaned up at the box office thanks to its winning high concept that director John Krasinski somehow managed to make a serious proposition and not silly at all.

How unlike what we were offered here, where the high concept creaked and groaned over an overextended two hours for what could have been a fun, dumb B-movie plot over with in eighty minutes. This wanted you to approach it with the utmost reverence, with not one joke in the whole thing, always a bad idea in a horror unless you're supremely confident in the gravity of your material, yet as it unfolded it looked like what it was, a heavily contrived premise to place its heroine in perilous situations that had no bearing on anything approximating real life. In A Quiet Place, everyone has been in a set of circumstances where they had to be silent lest they disturb someone or something, but you'd be willing to bet not one person seeing this had ever had to previously drift down a river blindfolded.

You had to be very forgiving if you wanted to get along with Bird Box, and it didn't do itself any favours in its solemn, joyless tone, especially if its intention was to use that as a contrast to an ending that was so convenient as to be absolutely ludicrous. Given it progressed at a snail's pace, possibly a blindfolded snail at that, to drop a final scene like that on us and mean it most sincerely was something of an insult to the intelligence, and no amount of attractive forestry was going to help. For too many patches the plot came across as being inspired by a parent frustrated that when you tell little kids what to do, they quite often ignore you or have to be told ten times before they begin to listen to you, but what kind of a motivation for a horror movie was that? Whingeing from outside a nursery does not a solid plotline make, and when in the present day a deadeningly unsympathetic Mallory tries to get to safety with two little ones, the idea she was rediscovering her humanity through this good deed was thuddingly rendered. It would have been all right if you could have laughed at it. Music by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross.
Reviewer: Graeme Clark

 

This review has been viewed 2213 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

 
Review Comments (0)


Untitled 1

Login
  Username:
 
  Password:
 
   
 
Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.
   

Latest Poll
Which star probably has psychic powers?
Laurence Fishburne
Nicolas Cage
Anya Taylor-Joy
Patrick Stewart
Sissy Spacek
Michelle Yeoh
Aubrey Plaza
Tom Cruise
Beatrice Dalle
Michael Ironside
   
 
   

Recent Visitors
Graeme Clark
Darren Jones
Andrew Pragasam
Stately Wayne Manor
Enoch Sneed
  Geraint Morgan
Paul Smith
  Lee Fiveash
   

 

Last Updated: