Y’ know, the perpetually dire Angel Guts “pink film” (Japan’s answer to blue films) series could almost be a genre in itself. Give a movie with a girl called Nami, violated and drenched in torrential rain a title with the prefix “Red” and you have yourself a movie so brain-cell-calcifyingly tedious that you begin to wish you’d started watching it in the afternoon so you could turn over to BBC Parliament and squeeze one out over that instead. With a title - Red Porno - that promises much, you get very little in this sordid little tale of Nami (any similarity to any other Angel Guts Nami is entirely coincidental - just in case you were beginning to care ) frigging herself in her bedroom whilst a naughty neighbour tugs himself off over her. Nami, a full-time shop worker and part-time porno model (would she be anything else) is having an affair with her wanker of a boss whilst simultaneously being hassled by her pud-pulling boy-next-door.
What do you mean, “Is that it?”! For fuck’s sake man, of course it fucking is! This is Angel Guts we’re talking about here! But it’s still pretty damn sparse, ain’t it? With hardly any dialogue, any incidental music and virtually no plot, even with its mere 65 minutes running time, Red Porno is emptier than Sharon Osborne’s jewellery box. Admittedly, many of the sex scenes are somewhat erotic, and I admit my mind was blown (I said my MIND, my MIND was blown!) when I spotted a couple of cum shots in here - although that was mainly due to the fact that Japan’s psychopathic aversion to horrible, hairy genits meant that the snakeless spurting looked fucking ridiculous (fuck me, why don’t they just get the razor out and have done with it! No, don’t take your knickers off love, I meant cut the director’s fucking THROAT!) On a lighter note, there was thankfully just one (brutal )rape scene here so perhaps the Angel Guts gang have finally learned the meaning of romance. Yeah, right. Staler than a dead pensioner’s breadbin, that was Angel Guts volume 4.
Aka Tenshi No Harawata:Akai Inga, Tenshi No Harawata 4
