HOME |  CULT MOVIES | COMPETITIONS | ADVERTISE |  CONTACT US |  ABOUT US
 
 
 
Newest Reviews
American Fiction
Poor Things
Thunderclap
Zeiram
Legend of the Bat
Party Line
Night Fright
Pacha, Le
Kimi
Assemble Insert
Venus Tear Diamond, The
Promare
Beauty's Evil Roses, The
Free Guy
Huck and Tom's Mississippi Adventure
Rejuvenator, The
Who Fears the Devil?
Guignolo, Le
Batman, The
Land of Many Perfumes
Cat vs. Rat
Tom & Jerry: The Movie
Naked Violence
Joyeuses Pacques
Strangeness, The
How I Became a Superhero
Golden Nun
Incident at Phantom Hill
Winterhawk
Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City
Maigret Sets a Trap
B.N.A.
Hell's Wind Staff, The
Topo Gigio and the Missile War
Battant, Le
Penguin Highway
Cazadore de Demonios
Snatchers
Imperial Swordsman
Foxtrap
   
 
Newest Articles
3 From Arrow Player: Sweet Sugar, Girls Nite Out and Manhattan Baby
Little Cat Feat: Stephen King's Cat's Eye on 4K UHD
La Violence: Dobermann at 25
Serious Comedy: The Wrong Arm of the Law on Blu-ray
DC Showcase: Constantine - The House of Mystery and More on Blu-ray
Monster Fun: Three Monster Tales of Sci-Fi Terror on Blu-ray
State of the 70s: Play for Today Volume 3 on Blu-ray
The Movie Damned: Cursed Films II on Shudder
The Dead of Night: In Cold Blood on Blu-ray
Suave and Sophisticated: The Persuaders! Take 50 on Blu-ray
Your Rules are Really Beginning to Annoy Me: Escape from L.A. on 4K UHD
A Woman's Viewfinder: The Camera is Ours on DVD
Chaplin's Silent Pursuit: Modern Times on Blu-ray
The Ecstasy of Cosmic Boredom: Dark Star on Arrow
A Frosty Reception: South and The Great White Silence on Blu-ray
You'll Never Guess Which is Sammo: Skinny Tiger and Fatty Dragon on Blu-ray
Two Christopher Miles Shorts: The Six-Sided Triangle/Rhythm 'n' Greens on Blu-ray
Not So Permissive: The Lovers! on Blu-ray
Uncomfortable Truths: Three Shorts by Andrea Arnold on MUBI
The Call of Nostalgia: Ghostbusters Afterlife on Blu-ray
Moon Night - Space 1999: Super Space Theater on Blu-ray
Super Sammo: Warriors Two and The Prodigal Son on Blu-ray
Sex vs Violence: In the Realm of the Senses on Blu-ray
What's So Funny About Brit Horror? Vampira and Bloodbath at the House of Death on Arrow
Keeping the Beatles Alive: Get Back
   
 
  No Holds Barred Wrestle And Hustle
Year: 1989
Director: Thomas J. Wright
Stars: Hulk Hogan, Joan Severance, Kurt Fuller, Tommy 'Tiny' Lister, Mark Pellegrino, Bill Henderson, Charles Levin, David Paymer, Patrick O'Bryan, Jesse Ventura, Gene Okerlund, Howard Finkel, Bill Eadie, Rebecca Wackler, Bruce Taylor, Richard Klinger
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Action, TrashBuy from Amazon
Rating:  2 (from 1 vote)
Review: Rip (Hulk Hogan) is the biggest wrestler around, in terms of fame and success, but that makes him much in demand. So what to do when the more disreputable money men come calling, men like Brell (Kurt Fuller), the head of a television network hungry for ratings and with the funds to buy anyone they want - or so they believe? After watching Rip in a televised match where he looks like he is about to lose, then in a miraculous display stages a comeback against a formidable opponent and succeeds mightily, Brell wants to wave a sizeable cheque under the hero's nose, but he doesn't realise Rip does this for the glory, not to make creeps like him rich. When he makes this clear in no uncertain terms, the C.E.O. starts scheming...

In a parallel universe, Hulk Hogan became as big a movie star as Arnold Schwarzenegger, another celebrity who grew famous thanks to a combination of tireless attention to his physical fitness and an equally tireless dedication to self-promotion. But it was not to be, for Ahnold was a very canny chooser of roles that played well against his acting limitations, and Hogan merely went straight for the Kindergarten Cop audience without establishing himself in a less juvenile arena first: kids loved World Wrestling Federation shows, so he had to appeal to the same fanbase as essentially a children's entertainer. When scandal came knocking in the twenty-first century, it was a real surprise to his followers to see he had feet of clay.

Meanwhile, back in 1989, the WWF were attempting to increase their already sizeable profits by branching out into the movies, and legend had it that Hogan and his manager, Vince McMahon, rewrote the script of No Holds Barred to better tailor it to his talents, which on this evidence were limited unless you are entertained by men grunting and groaning. They made sure to make it PG-13, which meant scenes with leading lady Joan Severance that were a lot less savoury than you would even get in a film rated that a mere decade later, with an elaborate masturbation joke and a scene where she was nearly raped so Rip could rescue her, which offers an idea of the wrongheadedness of the enterprise, not to mention Hulk making a man shit himself at one point.

In fact the whole affair was downright weird in its appeals to the macho fantasy brigade as Brell (Fuller admitted his performance was dreadful, and that this film is an embarrassment to him, poor chap) has a big idea of what to do about getting those ratings: basically barroom brawls on TV. You would like to think this entire notion was terrible, and in '89 maybe it was, but these days you can just about envisage it flying on primetime, getting sweaty, brawny men to beat the shit out of one another short of actual murder would be a ratings-grabber on some channels, maybe it wouldn't need to be a specialist one either. Not that wrestling as television knew it was especially authentic, but here it was treated as if these blokes were risking life and limb to make a bundle, there were real punches being thrown as well as real people being thrown.

Severance played a TV exec who was hired to guide Rip into Brell's clutches, but although he seems fond of her, that was nothing compared to his feelings for his brother Randy (Mark Pellegrino playing a good guy for once) which did not verge on the obsessive, but leapt straight into the realms of all sorts of wrong. When the baddie arrives on the scene, a massive madman known only as Zeus (Tommy 'Tiny' Lister), Rip does all he can not to give in to Brell's desire to see them battle on his station, but Zeus beats up Randy and lands him in a wheelchair, a paraplegic (yeah, that's really entertaining), and Rip cannot resist him any longer. This resulted in the grand finale, an extended combat which was so over the top that it ended in two deaths before the end credits rolled, which we are intended to regard as a satisfying conclusion. With TV network board members straight out of Robocop and Hogan's inability to create convincing emotions (the crying was a lowlight) it's little wonder this mishmash didn't set the box office tills ringing, though it has picked up a bad movie following. Music by Jim Johnston.
Reviewer: Graeme Clark

 

This review has been viewed 3359 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

 
Review Comments (0)


Untitled 1

Login
  Username:
 
  Password:
 
   
 
Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.
   

Latest Poll
Which star probably has psychic powers?
Laurence Fishburne
Nicolas Cage
Anya Taylor-Joy
Patrick Stewart
Sissy Spacek
Michelle Yeoh
Aubrey Plaza
Tom Cruise
Beatrice Dalle
Michael Ironside
   
 
   

Recent Visitors
Enoch Sneed
Darren Jones
  Louise Hackett
Mark Le Surf-hall
Andrew Pragasam
Mary Sibley
Graeme Clark
  Desbris M
   

 

Last Updated: