HOME |  CULT MOVIES | COMPETITIONS | ADVERTISE |  CONTACT US |  ABOUT US
 
 
 
Newest Reviews
American Fiction
Poor Things
Thunderclap
Zeiram
Legend of the Bat
Party Line
Night Fright
Pacha, Le
Kimi
Assemble Insert
Venus Tear Diamond, The
Promare
Beauty's Evil Roses, The
Free Guy
Huck and Tom's Mississippi Adventure
Rejuvenator, The
Who Fears the Devil?
Guignolo, Le
Batman, The
Land of Many Perfumes
Cat vs. Rat
Tom & Jerry: The Movie
Naked Violence
Joyeuses Pacques
Strangeness, The
How I Became a Superhero
Golden Nun
Incident at Phantom Hill
Winterhawk
Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City
Maigret Sets a Trap
B.N.A.
Hell's Wind Staff, The
Topo Gigio and the Missile War
Battant, Le
Penguin Highway
Cazadore de Demonios
Snatchers
Imperial Swordsman
Foxtrap
   
 
Newest Articles
3 From Arrow Player: Sweet Sugar, Girls Nite Out and Manhattan Baby
Little Cat Feat: Stephen King's Cat's Eye on 4K UHD
La Violence: Dobermann at 25
Serious Comedy: The Wrong Arm of the Law on Blu-ray
DC Showcase: Constantine - The House of Mystery and More on Blu-ray
Monster Fun: Three Monster Tales of Sci-Fi Terror on Blu-ray
State of the 70s: Play for Today Volume 3 on Blu-ray
The Movie Damned: Cursed Films II on Shudder
The Dead of Night: In Cold Blood on Blu-ray
Suave and Sophisticated: The Persuaders! Take 50 on Blu-ray
Your Rules are Really Beginning to Annoy Me: Escape from L.A. on 4K UHD
A Woman's Viewfinder: The Camera is Ours on DVD
Chaplin's Silent Pursuit: Modern Times on Blu-ray
The Ecstasy of Cosmic Boredom: Dark Star on Arrow
A Frosty Reception: South and The Great White Silence on Blu-ray
You'll Never Guess Which is Sammo: Skinny Tiger and Fatty Dragon on Blu-ray
Two Christopher Miles Shorts: The Six-Sided Triangle/Rhythm 'n' Greens on Blu-ray
Not So Permissive: The Lovers! on Blu-ray
Uncomfortable Truths: Three Shorts by Andrea Arnold on MUBI
The Call of Nostalgia: Ghostbusters Afterlife on Blu-ray
Moon Night - Space 1999: Super Space Theater on Blu-ray
Super Sammo: Warriors Two and The Prodigal Son on Blu-ray
Sex vs Violence: In the Realm of the Senses on Blu-ray
What's So Funny About Brit Horror? Vampira and Bloodbath at the House of Death on Arrow
Keeping the Beatles Alive: Get Back
   
 
  Ironmaster Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better
Year: 1983
Director: Umberto Lenzi
Stars: Sam Pasco, Elvire Audray, George Eastman, Pamela Prati, Jacques Herlin, Danilo Mattei, Benito Stefanelli, Areno D’Adderio, Giovanni Cianfriglia, Nello Pazzafini, Walter Lucchini, Nicola La Macchia, William Berger
Genre: Trash, AdventureBuy from Amazon
Rating:  4 (from 1 vote)
Review: Ela (Sam Pasco) is part of a tribe in prehistoric times, and feels it is led well by a strong chief and his righthand man, the wise one, though there has recently been some conflict between them as the hunting grounds where they gather their food are growing less fruitful as regards the animals available for the taking. Not helping is that as mankind begins to prosper, there is more demand for the beasts, and the wise one warns the elder that they may meet with opposition the next time they go on the hunt. One tribesman is Vuud (George Eastman) who not-so-secretly yearns to be the leader himself, and is making up half-conceived plans to that end - can Ela stop him in his tracks, or will Vuud become a tyrant?

By the nineteen-eighties, director Umberto Lenzi was finding himself less in demand and more likely to be helming low budget and unimpressive ventures; he had dabbled many genres from sword and sandal in the sixties to giallo in the seventies, but it was his most notorious film Cannibal Ferox that seemed to set the seal on his career as a purveyor of rather tawdry entertainments. So it was with Ironmaster, which attempted to jump on the bandwagon of the caveman pictures that were proliferating in a somewhat muted fashion across the decade, following in the footsteps of bigger productions such as Quest for Fire or Clan of the Cave Bear where respectable thespians donned animal skins and made grunting noises.

It was all following on from Raquel Welch in One Million Years B.C., only about twenty years too late, and most of them avoided dinosaurs for inclusion because they wanted to make moves towards realism, as every schoolkid will tell you humanity and dinos never shared the world at the same time. This did mean that Raquel was generously overburdened with actual excitement in her movie, because a Ray Harryhausen monster is always going to put some oomph into a storyline, and seeing some slightly embarrassed actors speaking a made-up language amid carefully researched, primitive production design was never going to be quite as diverting, not least because these efforts were so deadening in their self-importance.

Naturally, it did not take long for the genre to revert to type, and Ironmaster was not blessed with much in the way of scientific accuracy, not with those plastic elephants anyway, but it had a definite moral to relate which had it almost getting away with a metaphor. Its main concern was weaponry, and how mankind started with clubs and spears, but then discovered how to forge metal, the iron of the title, essentially kicking off the arms race that had lasted to the twentieth century (and indeed beyond it). That's right, an eighties movie about cavemen managed to crowbar in a loose reference to nuclear weapons, and demonstrated a desire for unilateral disarmament as played out in its final sequence. Though not before the goodies have devised a better weapon than the baddies, which confused the pacifist message somewhat.

Pasco resembled a musclebound Robert Walker Jr in an Arnold Schwarzenegger as Conan the Barbarian wig, and obviously took great care to shave his chest and keep his well-toned to bursting form as oiled up as possible. He was actually more regularly seen in gay pornography, and this represented his one try at the mainstream, if you could term Ironmaster the mainstream: the fact that you probably have never heard of him indicates how well that went, and if you have heard of him, well, enjoy your particular pleasure. He was teamed with the tragically shortlived Elvire Audray, a brief mainstay of decorative roles in European trash, though the big draw here was to see Eastman rampant as the sword-wielding Vuud, a budding dictator who takes on lions and entire tribes with nary a thought to his safety, confident that he will win. As any Eastman fan will tell you, that's often enough to carry a movie on its own, but there was a self-righteous aspect here that took the shine off it, as if we had shown up for an action flick and wound up at a lecture. Music by Guido and Maurizio De Angelis.
Reviewer: Graeme Clark

 

This review has been viewed 3380 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

 

Umberto Lenzi  (1931 - 2017)

Prolific, workmanlike Italian director and writer who dabbled in most genres throughout his 40 year career. Started work as a film critic before making his directing debut in 1961 with the sea-faring adventure flick Queen of the Seas. The two decades years saw Lenzi churn out westerns, historical dramas, Bond-esquespy yarns and giallo thrillers among others.

It was his 1972 proto-cannibal film Deep River Savages that led to the best known phase of his career, with notorious gore-epics Cannibal Ferox and Eaten Alive and zombie shlocker Nightmare City quickly becoming favourites amongst fans of spaghetti splatter. Continued to plug away in the horror genre before retiring in 1996.

 
Review Comments (0)


Untitled 1

Login
  Username:
 
  Password:
 
   
 
Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.
   

Latest Poll
Which star probably has psychic powers?
Laurence Fishburne
Nicolas Cage
Anya Taylor-Joy
Patrick Stewart
Sissy Spacek
Michelle Yeoh
Aubrey Plaza
Tom Cruise
Beatrice Dalle
Michael Ironside
   
 
   

Recent Visitors
Enoch Sneed
Darren Jones
  Louise Hackett
Mark Le Surf-hall
Andrew Pragasam
Mary Sibley
Graeme Clark
  Desbris M
   

 

Last Updated: