HOME |  CULT MOVIES | COMPETITIONS | ADVERTISE |  CONTACT US |  ABOUT US
 
 
 
Newest Reviews
We Have Always Lived in the Castle
Covert Action
Strangler's Web
Host
Nimic
House of Bamboo
Murder Me, Monster
Hell and High Water
Possessor
Flint
Miserables, Les
Ritz, The
Patrick
Cemetery
Girls of the Sun
Princess and the Goblin, The
Skyfire
Upright
Incredible Kung Fu Mission
Dirty Cops
You Cannot Kill David Arquette
Leap of Faith: William Friedkin on The Exorcist
Son's Room, The
Evil Hits Evil
Agency
Blue My Mind
Thumbelina
Proxima
Aprile
Assassination Nation
Golden Key, The
Image Book, The
On Body and Soul
Unhinged
Eyewitness
Girlfriends
Danger Within
Rent-A-Pal
Battle in Outer Space
H-Man, The
   
 
Newest Articles
Newley Minted: The Strange World of Gurney Slade on Blu-ray
Bad Love: The Night Porter on Blu-ray
Brevity is the Soul of Weird: Short Sharp Shocks on Blu-ray
Get Your Ass to Mars: Total Recall on Blu-ray
Call the Professionals: Le Cercle Rouge on Blu-ray
When There's No More Room in Hell: Dawn of the Dead on Blu-ray
The Butterfly Effect: Mothra on Blu-ray
Living Room Theatre: Play for Today Volume 1 on Blu-ray
Didn't He Do Well: The Bruce Forsyth Show on DVD
Blood Wedding: The Bride with White Hair on Blu-ray
The Inhuman Element: The Ladykillers on 4K UHD
As You Like It, Baby: Breathless on Blu-ray
Stargazing: Light Entertainment Rarities on DVD
Down to the Welles: Orson Welles Great Mysteries Volume 2 on DVD
Herding Cats: Sleepwalkers on Blu-ray
Confessions of a Porn Star: Adult Material on DVD
They're Still Not Sure It is a Baby: Eraserhead on Blu-ray
Werewolves are Real: Dog Soldiers on Digital
Rose: A Love Story - Producers April Kelley and Sara Huxley Interview
Phone Phreak: 976-EVIL on Blu-ray
Living the Nightmare: Dementia on Blu-ray
Becky and The Devil to Pay: Ruckus and Lane Skye Interview
Big Top Bloodbath: Circus of Horrors on Blu-ray
A Knock on the Door at 4 O'clock in the Morning: The Strangers on Blu-ray
Wives of the Skies: Honey Lauren Interview
   
 
  Ironmaster Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better
Year: 1983
Director: Umberto Lenzi
Stars: Sam Pasco, Elvire Audray, George Eastman, Pamela Prati, Jacques Herlin, Danilo Mattei, Benito Stefanelli, Areno D’Adderio, Giovanni Cianfriglia, Nello Pazzafini, Walter Lucchini, Nicola La Macchia, William Berger
Genre: Trash, AdventureBuy from Amazon
Rating:  4 (from 1 vote)
Review: Ela (Sam Pasco) is part of a tribe in prehistoric times, and feels it is led well by a strong chief and his righthand man, the wise one, though there has recently been some conflict between them as the hunting grounds where they gather their food are growing less fruitful as regards the animals available for the taking. Not helping is that as mankind begins to prosper, there is more demand for the beasts, and the wise one warns the elder that they may meet with opposition the next time they go on the hunt. One tribesman is Vuud (George Eastman) who not-so-secretly yearns to be the leader himself, and is making up half-conceived plans to that end - can Ela stop him in his tracks, or will Vuud become a tyrant?

By the nineteen-eighties, director Umberto Lenzi was finding himself less in demand and more likely to be helming low budget and unimpressive ventures; he had dabbled many genres from sword and sandal in the sixties to giallo in the seventies, but it was his most notorious film Cannibal Ferox that seemed to set the seal on his career as a purveyor of rather tawdry entertainments. So it was with Ironmaster, which attempted to jump on the bandwagon of the caveman pictures that were proliferating in a somewhat muted fashion across the decade, following in the footsteps of bigger productions such as Quest for Fire or Clan of the Cave Bear where respectable thespians donned animal skins and made grunting noises.

It was all following on from Raquel Welch in One Million Years B.C., only about twenty years too late, and most of them avoided dinosaurs for inclusion because they wanted to make moves towards realism, as every schoolkid will tell you humanity and dinos never shared the world at the same time. This did mean that Raquel was generously overburdened with actual excitement in her movie, because a Ray Harryhausen monster is always going to put some oomph into a storyline, and seeing some slightly embarrassed actors speaking a made-up language amid carefully researched, primitive production design was never going to be quite as diverting, not least because these efforts were so deadening in their self-importance.

Naturally, it did not take long for the genre to revert to type, and Ironmaster was not blessed with much in the way of scientific accuracy, not with those plastic elephants anyway, but it had a definite moral to relate which had it almost getting away with a metaphor. Its main concern was weaponry, and how mankind started with clubs and spears, but then discovered how to forge metal, the iron of the title, essentially kicking off the arms race that had lasted to the twentieth century (and indeed beyond it). That's right, an eighties movie about cavemen managed to crowbar in a loose reference to nuclear weapons, and demonstrated a desire for unilateral disarmament as played out in its final sequence. Though not before the goodies have devised a better weapon than the baddies, which confused the pacifist message somewhat.

Pasco resembled a musclebound Robert Walker Jr in an Arnold Schwarzenegger as Conan the Barbarian wig, and obviously took great care to shave his chest and keep his well-toned to bursting form as oiled up as possible. He was actually more regularly seen in gay pornography, and this represented his one try at the mainstream, if you could term Ironmaster the mainstream: the fact that you probably have never heard of him indicates how well that went, and if you have heard of him, well, enjoy your particular pleasure. He was teamed with the tragically shortlived Elvire Audray, a brief mainstay of decorative roles in European trash, though the big draw here was to see Eastman rampant as the sword-wielding Vuud, a budding dictator who takes on lions and entire tribes with nary a thought to his safety, confident that he will win. As any Eastman fan will tell you, that's often enough to carry a movie on its own, but there was a self-righteous aspect here that took the shine off it, as if we had shown up for an action flick and wound up at a lecture. Music by Guido and Maurizio De Angelis.
Reviewer: Graeme Clark

 

This review has been viewed 1650 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

 

Umberto Lenzi  (1931 - 2017)

Prolific, workmanlike Italian director and writer who dabbled in most genres throughout his 40 year career. Started work as a film critic before making his directing debut in 1961 with the sea-faring adventure flick Queen of the Seas. The two decades years saw Lenzi churn out westerns, historical dramas, Bond-esquespy yarns and giallo thrillers among others.

It was his 1972 proto-cannibal film Deep River Savages that led to the best known phase of his career, with notorious gore-epics Cannibal Ferox and Eaten Alive and zombie shlocker Nightmare City quickly becoming favourites amongst fans of spaghetti splatter. Continued to plug away in the horror genre before retiring in 1996.

 
Review Comments (0)


Untitled 1

Login
  Username:
 
  Password:
 
   
 
Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.
   

Latest Poll
Which star is the best at shouting?
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Brian Blessed
Tiffany Haddish
Steve Carell
Olivia Colman
Captain Caveman
Sylvester Stallone
Gerard Butler
Samuel L. Jackson
Bipasha Basu
   
 
   

Recent Visitors
Andrew Pragasam
Graeme Clark
Enoch Sneed
Darren Jones
Paul Smith
  Lee Fiveash
  Mick Stewart
  Dsfgsdfg Dsgdsgsdg
   

 

Last Updated: