HOME |  CULT MOVIES | COMPETITIONS | ADVERTISE |  CONTACT US |  ABOUT US
 
 
 
Newest Reviews
American Fiction
Poor Things
Thunderclap
Zeiram
Legend of the Bat
Party Line
Night Fright
Pacha, Le
Kimi
Assemble Insert
Venus Tear Diamond, The
Promare
Beauty's Evil Roses, The
Free Guy
Huck and Tom's Mississippi Adventure
Rejuvenator, The
Who Fears the Devil?
Guignolo, Le
Batman, The
Land of Many Perfumes
Cat vs. Rat
Tom & Jerry: The Movie
Naked Violence
Joyeuses Pacques
Strangeness, The
How I Became a Superhero
Golden Nun
Incident at Phantom Hill
Winterhawk
Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City
Maigret Sets a Trap
B.N.A.
Hell's Wind Staff, The
Topo Gigio and the Missile War
Battant, Le
Penguin Highway
Cazadore de Demonios
Snatchers
Imperial Swordsman
Foxtrap
   
 
Newest Articles
3 From Arrow Player: Sweet Sugar, Girls Nite Out and Manhattan Baby
Little Cat Feat: Stephen King's Cat's Eye on 4K UHD
La Violence: Dobermann at 25
Serious Comedy: The Wrong Arm of the Law on Blu-ray
DC Showcase: Constantine - The House of Mystery and More on Blu-ray
Monster Fun: Three Monster Tales of Sci-Fi Terror on Blu-ray
State of the 70s: Play for Today Volume 3 on Blu-ray
The Movie Damned: Cursed Films II on Shudder
The Dead of Night: In Cold Blood on Blu-ray
Suave and Sophisticated: The Persuaders! Take 50 on Blu-ray
Your Rules are Really Beginning to Annoy Me: Escape from L.A. on 4K UHD
A Woman's Viewfinder: The Camera is Ours on DVD
Chaplin's Silent Pursuit: Modern Times on Blu-ray
The Ecstasy of Cosmic Boredom: Dark Star on Arrow
A Frosty Reception: South and The Great White Silence on Blu-ray
You'll Never Guess Which is Sammo: Skinny Tiger and Fatty Dragon on Blu-ray
Two Christopher Miles Shorts: The Six-Sided Triangle/Rhythm 'n' Greens on Blu-ray
Not So Permissive: The Lovers! on Blu-ray
Uncomfortable Truths: Three Shorts by Andrea Arnold on MUBI
The Call of Nostalgia: Ghostbusters Afterlife on Blu-ray
Moon Night - Space 1999: Super Space Theater on Blu-ray
Super Sammo: Warriors Two and The Prodigal Son on Blu-ray
Sex vs Violence: In the Realm of the Senses on Blu-ray
What's So Funny About Brit Horror? Vampira and Bloodbath at the House of Death on Arrow
Keeping the Beatles Alive: Get Back
   
 
  Solarbabies Rollerbollocks
Year: 1986
Director: Alan Johnson
Stars: Richard Jordan, Jami Gertz, Jason Patric, Lukas Haas, James LeGros, Claude Brooks, Peter DeLuise, Peter Kowanko, Adrian Pasdar, Sarah Douglas, Charles Durning, Frank Converse, Terrence Mann, Alexei Sayle, Bruce Payne, Willoughby Gray, Kelly Bishop
Genre: Science Fiction, AdventureBuy from Amazon
Rating:  3 (from 1 vote)
Review: It is the future and global warming has turned Planet Earth into a desert, with water in extremely short supply and those who control it also controlling the majority of the population who truly need it, but can rarely secure enough. This fascist world government also takes children away from their parents so they may be indoctrinated into loving the totalitarian rulers, but not every one of them appreciates what they are being told, and the hockey team known as The Solarbabies, who compete on rollerskates, are less keen on living under the iron fist of oppression than many of their contemporaries. But what can they do? They have been groomed for this existence, and see no other option - until a glowing ball appears.

If you can make sense of that, then congratulations, you are a seasoned member of the eighties movie appreciation society, should such a thing exist, but there were over ninety minutes of this guff to get through, which may be more than most could stand. This was one of the films produced by Mel Brooks that he did not put his name to, some of which would be big hits like The Elephant Man or The Fly, others that totally stiffed like this one: it's a gamble, is showbiz. Solarbabies was renamed Solar Warriors in some territories to make it sound like a butch sci-fi escapade, so imagine the disappointment among those who expected a Mad Max 2 clone and ended up with whatever this thought it was.

George Miller's brainchild was affecting science fiction all over the eighties, with every film industry with access to a desert crafting their own variations of the souped up vehicles powering across the wastelands and rogue bands of survivors ready to fight tooth and nail for the last resources, though none of them quite had his knack for generating something worthwhile out of the premise. This little item was no exception, it appeared to have been conceived of as Mad Max for kids, though more teenagers than the younger children, which led to curious bursts of violence amidst the more kiddy-friendly scenes with our band of brothers (and one sister - Jami Gertz) making friends with a glowing orb from outer space.

It didn't speak or anything, but they managed to communicate with it thanks to youngest Solarbaby Lukas Haas, fresh off Witness, cured of his deafness and now able to speak thanks to the orb's magic. There’s always a degree of wish fulfilment in fantastical plots aimed at this age group, so the notion of ver kids getting together to stick it to The Man was one that would never go out of fashion, The Man in this case led by Richard Jordan as the Nazi-esque leader of the bad guys who are recruiting them to... play a particular style of hockey. They even use the orb, named Bodhi, as a puck, which it does not seem to mind. This emphasis on rollerskates was a very eighties feature, lasting from Linda Blair in Roller Boogie to the dawn of the nineties with Prayer of the Rollerboys, though quite why they were regarded as quite so cool is something of a mystery.

Certainly the Solarbabies rarely took them off, so it was just as well that when the time arrives for them to undertake their quest to retrieve the orb (mulleted mystic Adrian Pasdar, who can communicate with birds for some reason, has nicked it) they're lucky the surrounding desert had so much in the way of flat surfaces on which to journey upon. Not that this prevented the young cast from looking ungainly, and even their stunt doubles were not too convincing as experts on the skates for while you may think you can look slick and cool trundling around on them, the reality is rather different: maybe skateboards would have been a better idea? Only you can't play hockey on them, one supposes. Anyhoo, off the adventurers go with bad guys in hot pursuit (in proper vehicles) where they meet Gertz's hippy dad, a proudly stinking Alexei Sayle and Sarah Douglas in one of her imperious roles as a torturer who owns a robot called Terminac that amusingly malfunctions, as expected. That was about all that was amusing about what may have been colourful and packed with incident, but overall was deadening in its pointlessness. Music by Maurice Jarre.
Reviewer: Graeme Clark

 

This review has been viewed 3461 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

 
Review Comments (0)


Untitled 1

Login
  Username:
 
  Password:
 
   
 
Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.
   

Latest Poll
Which star probably has psychic powers?
Laurence Fishburne
Nicolas Cage
Anya Taylor-Joy
Patrick Stewart
Sissy Spacek
Michelle Yeoh
Aubrey Plaza
Tom Cruise
Beatrice Dalle
Michael Ironside
   
 
   

Recent Visitors
Enoch Sneed
Darren Jones
  Louise Hackett
Mark Le Surf-hall
Andrew Pragasam
Mary Sibley
Graeme Clark
  Desbris M
   

 

Last Updated: