HOME |  CULT MOVIES | COMPETITIONS | ADVERTISE |  CONTACT US |  ABOUT US
 
 
 
Newest Reviews
American Fiction
Poor Things
Thunderclap
Zeiram
Legend of the Bat
Party Line
Night Fright
Pacha, Le
Kimi
Assemble Insert
Venus Tear Diamond, The
Promare
Beauty's Evil Roses, The
Free Guy
Huck and Tom's Mississippi Adventure
Rejuvenator, The
Who Fears the Devil?
Guignolo, Le
Batman, The
Land of Many Perfumes
Cat vs. Rat
Tom & Jerry: The Movie
Naked Violence
Joyeuses Pacques
Strangeness, The
How I Became a Superhero
Golden Nun
Incident at Phantom Hill
Winterhawk
Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City
Maigret Sets a Trap
B.N.A.
Hell's Wind Staff, The
Topo Gigio and the Missile War
Battant, Le
Penguin Highway
Cazadore de Demonios
Snatchers
Imperial Swordsman
Foxtrap
   
 
Newest Articles
3 From Arrow Player: Sweet Sugar, Girls Nite Out and Manhattan Baby
Little Cat Feat: Stephen King's Cat's Eye on 4K UHD
La Violence: Dobermann at 25
Serious Comedy: The Wrong Arm of the Law on Blu-ray
DC Showcase: Constantine - The House of Mystery and More on Blu-ray
Monster Fun: Three Monster Tales of Sci-Fi Terror on Blu-ray
State of the 70s: Play for Today Volume 3 on Blu-ray
The Movie Damned: Cursed Films II on Shudder
The Dead of Night: In Cold Blood on Blu-ray
Suave and Sophisticated: The Persuaders! Take 50 on Blu-ray
Your Rules are Really Beginning to Annoy Me: Escape from L.A. on 4K UHD
A Woman's Viewfinder: The Camera is Ours on DVD
Chaplin's Silent Pursuit: Modern Times on Blu-ray
The Ecstasy of Cosmic Boredom: Dark Star on Arrow
A Frosty Reception: South and The Great White Silence on Blu-ray
You'll Never Guess Which is Sammo: Skinny Tiger and Fatty Dragon on Blu-ray
Two Christopher Miles Shorts: The Six-Sided Triangle/Rhythm 'n' Greens on Blu-ray
Not So Permissive: The Lovers! on Blu-ray
Uncomfortable Truths: Three Shorts by Andrea Arnold on MUBI
The Call of Nostalgia: Ghostbusters Afterlife on Blu-ray
Moon Night - Space 1999: Super Space Theater on Blu-ray
Super Sammo: Warriors Two and The Prodigal Son on Blu-ray
Sex vs Violence: In the Realm of the Senses on Blu-ray
What's So Funny About Brit Horror? Vampira and Bloodbath at the House of Death on Arrow
Keeping the Beatles Alive: Get Back
   
 
  Long Ships, The Very Moorish
Year: 1964
Director: Jack Cardiff
Stars: Richard Widmark, Sidney Poitier, Russ Tamblyn, Rosanna Schiaffino, Oskar Homolka, Edward Judd, Lionel Jeffries, Beba Longcar, Clifford Evans, Gordon Jackson, Colin Blakely, David Lodge, Henry Oscar, Paul Stassino, Jeanne Moody
Genre: Historical, AdventureBuy from Amazon
Rating:  6 (from 1 vote)
Review: A Viking expedition led by Rolfe (Richard Widmark) came to grief on a distant European shore, but as the only survivor he found out about a legend of a huge golden bell which was located somewhere between the so-called Pillars of Hercules. It was said this creation was fashioned from the pillaged precious metal of many civilisations, and its value was far beyond any other artefact, so this set Rolfe's mind racing about how he could get ahold of it. This entailed travelling the Continent as a beggar, gleaning all the details he could until one day he was captured by a Moorish King, Aly Mansuh (Sidney Poitier), who had also heard of this bell...

Funny how yesterday's embarrassment can be today's entertainment, as it was with The Long Ships, patently an attempt to cash in on the huge success of the Kirk Douglas epic The Vikings from half a decade before, but so poorly thought out in its historical setting it was regarded as ludicrous at the time it was released, especially because no one in the cast seemed too sure of how serious this was supposed to be. The result of that was a fatal mix of styles, with Widmark apparently believing he was in a spoof and Poitier lending every line undue gravitas.

Needless to say, neither star thought this their finest hour (quoth Poitier: "To say it was disastrous is a compliment"), and perhaps they felt it would be better consigned to the past where their better achievements would overshadow it. Yet it didn't quite turn out that way, because films like these have a habit of turning up on television and certain of their scenes sticking in the mind, as they did here. And it's true there is a trashy verve to the enthusiastic throwing together of the Moors and the Vikings here, with some full-blooded action and even lustier playing from the actors that says, come on, how can you not enjoy this?

The script was actually based on the writings of Frans Bengsston, who was a big success in Scandinavia with his novels of the Norsemen, but somewhere on the translation from page to screen the intelligence leaked out, leaving a very silly story for us to appreciate. Memorable lunacies include Widmark (or his stunt double) leaping to escape Poitier's torture chamber from a fifty foot high window into the sea below and apparently swimming back to Norway from Iberia, and the fact that most of the Vikings sport the most awful blonde wigs, not to mention Poitier's apparent borrowing of Jackie Wilson's hairdo for his own ends.

Yet the thing that everyone recalls about The Long Ships is an execution device called The Mare of Steel. Rolfe has sailed his way back to Southern Europe on a stolen funeral barge and with a reluctant crew, and they're even more reluctant when they are captured by the Moors. Aly Mansuh demands that they take him to the Golden Bell, and to teach them a lesson in obedience sets up the execution of Rolfe with a huge blade, constructed with a large horse's head at the top, that the unlucky victim has to slide down on his belly, thereby killing him. Rolfe doesn't actually meet his maker this way, but a hapless guard is ordered to take a ride on it for demonstration purposes, and so a million vague but pressing memories of the "What was that film where...?" type were born. Otherwise, this may be pretty ridiculous, but it is put over with uncommon gusto. Music by Dusan Radic.
Reviewer: Graeme Clark

 

This review has been viewed 7366 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

 
Review Comments (2)
Posted by:
Enoch Sneed
Date:
8 Dec 2017
  Is it my imagination, or was Sidney Poitier actually blacked up to look more African? I'm sure he looks a little - ahem! - darker-skinned here than usual.
       
Posted by:
Graeme Clark
Date:
8 Dec 2017
  Are you sure you're not getting mixed up with Lionel Jeffries?! Er, anyway, I think it was probably the colour photography having a spot of bother with Mr Poitier's tones.
       


Untitled 1

Login
  Username:
 
  Password:
 
   
 
Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.
   

Latest Poll
Which star probably has psychic powers?
Laurence Fishburne
Nicolas Cage
Anya Taylor-Joy
Patrick Stewart
Sissy Spacek
Michelle Yeoh
Aubrey Plaza
Tom Cruise
Beatrice Dalle
Michael Ironside
   
 
   

Recent Visitors
Enoch Sneed
Darren Jones
Mark Le Surf-hall
  Louise Hackett
Andrew Pragasam
Mary Sibley
Graeme Clark
  Desbris M
   

 

Last Updated: