HOME |  CULT MOVIES | COMPETITIONS | ADVERTISE |  CONTACT US |  ABOUT US
 
 
Newest Reviews
Knife for the Ladies, A
Man in the Attic
Destroyer
Fillmore
Bumblebee
No Kidding
Honkytonk Man
Woman in the Window, The
Shed of the Dead
Dead Easy
Tucked
Widows
Last Movie Star, The
Death Game
Juliet, Naked
November
Arcadia
Sugar Hill
House with the Clock in Its Walls, The
Devil Thumbs a Ride, The
Suspiria
Secret People
Spy Who Dumped Me, The
Beautiful Stranger
House That Jack Built, The
Undercover
White Chamber
R.P.M.
Summer of 84
On Secret Service
Survive!
My Sister Eileen
Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween
Last Picture Show, The
Pathfinder
Skatetown, USA
Donbass
He Loves Me... He Loves Me Not
Mary Poppins Returns
Beyond the Sky
   
 
Newest Articles
Tucked: The Derren Nesbitt Interview
Locomotion Pictures: The Best of British Transport Films on Blu-ray
Roman Scandals: Extreme Visions from Ancient Rome
Spider-Wrong and Spider-Right: The Dragon's Challenge and Into the Spider-Verse
Monster Dog: Cujo on Blu-ray
For Christ's Sake: Jesus Christ Superstar and The Last Temptation of Christ
Not In Front of the Children: Inappropriate Kids Movies
Deeper into Ozploitation: Next of Kin and Fair Game
Between the Wars: Babylon Berlin Series 1&2 on DVD
Hard Luck Story: Detour on Blu-ray
Oh, What Happened to You? The Likely Lads on Blu-ray
Killer Apps: The Rise of the Evil 60s Supercomputers
How 1970s Can You Get? Cliff Richard in Take Me High vs Never Too Young to Rock
A Perfect Engine, An Eating Machine: The Jaws Series
Phwoar, Missus! Sexytime for Hollywood
   
 
  Bloody Birthday Buy this film here.
Year: 1981
Director: Ed Hunt
Stars: Lori Lethin, K.C. Martel, Elizabeth Hoy, Billy Jayne, Andy Freeman
Genre: Horror
Rating:  5 (from 2 votes)
Review: Bloody birthdays! I don’t know, I spend all my housekeeping on presents for you, and what do I get? Not even a bleedin’ thankyou! Well, OK, so you gave me a thankyou, but that’s not gonna buy me a bottle of gin and a game of bingo, is it? Jesus Christ, sometimes I wish I’d kept my drawers on! If I ever find out who your dad is, I’ll kill ‘im!

Yeah, I know that isn’t a particularly original opener but, then again, this isn’t a particularly original film, is it? If I didn’t use my brain watching it, then I sure as hell ain’t gonna use it to review it. Basically, this slasher flick (Oh, didn’t I mention? It’s a slasher!) tells the story of three little bastards who share the same birthday going on a killing spree – although on reflection I suppose it’s better than having them vandalising phone boxes and playing truant. You could be forgiven for thinking that this sudden killer instinct has something to do with all the genuine snuff movies and patriotic video games these sick sprogs have been exposed to, but in fact you’d be wrong. It’s all to do with their star-signs. Russell Grant’s got a lot to answer for!

As slashers go, this is particularly generic, not much different that about ten other movies from the same era. The nice, clean suburban setting means that sleaze is at a minimum, and its polished look makes it look like a TV movie – nothing to be proud of by any stretch of the imagination. One cannot deny that there is never a dull moment in Bloody Birthday, but all the exciting ones are pretty run-of-the-mill. There’s no gore either, with most victims being either strangled or beaten to death which is a bit of a con being as variety is the spice of flicks like this. And worst of all, there’s the “good-luck” aspect, where every five minutes or so someone comes within inches of being slaughtered only for somebody else to butt-in at the last minute and save them. It’s almost as if their futures were written in the stars....

But the real stars of Bloody Birthday are those bloody kids. They’re the most horrible set of anklebiters I’ve ever seen. When they look mean, it sends a shiver down your spine. When they start smiling it’s like a jellyfish has just crawled onto your grave and died there. If they were mine I would have put them in a sack and thrown them into the canal yonks ago! In fact, moral guardians everywhere will probably think all their bloody birthdays have come at once with this – definitely one for the Good Christian Shopping List…

aka Creepers
Reviewer: Wayne Southworth

 

This review has been viewed 5836 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

 
Review Comments (0)


Untitled 1

Login
  Username:
 
  Password:
 
   
 
Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.
   

Latest Poll
Which star do you think makes the best coffee?
Emma Stone
Anna Kendrick
Michelle Rodriguez
Sir Patrick Stewart
   
 
   

Recent Visitors
Graeme Clark
Andrew Pragasam
Enoch Sneed
  Derrick Smith
Paul Shrimpton
Darren Jones
George White
Stately Wayne Manor
   

 

Last Updated: