HOME |  CULT MOVIES | COMPETITIONS | ADVERTISE |  CONTACT US |  ABOUT US
 
 
Newest Reviews
Wind, The
Holly and the Ivy, The
Atlantique
Now, Voyager
Wolf's Call, The
Nostalghia
Nightingale, The
Eighth Grade
Irishman, The
Betrayed
Lords of Chaos
Operation Petticoat
Dead Don't Die, The
On the Waterfront
Last Faust, The
Moonlighting
Art of Self-Defense, The
Ironweed
Booksmart
Prisoners
Beach Bum, The
Kill Ben Lyk
Into the Mirror
Support the Girls
Werewolf
Little Monsters
Spider-Man: Far from Home
Horrible Histories: The Movie - Rotten Romans
Pentathlon
Anna
Moulin Rouge
Ray & Liz
African Queen, The
Helen Morgan Story, The
Golem, Der
Yentl
Finishing Line, The
Triple Threat
Mysterious Castle in the Carpathians, The
Driven
   
 
Newest Articles
Step Back in Time: The Amazing Mr. Blunden on Blu-ray
Crazy Cats and Kittens: What's New Pussycat on Blu-ray
No Place Like Home Guard: Dad's Army - The Lost Episodes on Blu-ray
A Real-Life Pixie: A Tribute to Michael J. Pollard in Four Roles
We're All In This Together: The Halfway House on Blu-ray
Please Yourselves: Frankie Howerd and The House in Nightmare Park on Blu-ray
Cleesed Off: Clockwise on Blu-ray
Sorry I Missed You: Les Demoiselles de Rochefort on Blu-ray
Silliest of the Silly: Monty Python's Flying Circus Series 1 on Blu-ray
Protest Songs: Hair on Blu-ray
Peak 80s Schwarzenegger: The Running Man and Red Heat
Rock On: That'll Be the Day and Stardust on Blu-ray
Growing Up in Public: 7-63 Up on Blu-ray
Learn Your Craft: Legend of the Witches and Secret Rites on Blu-ray
70s Psycho-Thrillers! And Soon the Darkness and Fright on Blu-ray
Split: Stephen King and George A. Romero's The Dark Half on Blu-ray
Disney Post-Walt: Three Gamechangers
But Doctor, I Am Pagliacci: Tony Hancock's The Rebel and The Punch and Judy Man on Blu-ray
Once Upon a Time in Deadwood: Interview with Director Rene Perez
Shit-Eating Grim: Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom on Blu-ray
Stallone's 80s Action Alpha and Omega: Nighthawks and Lock Up
Python Prehistory: At Last the 1948 Show and Do Not Adjust Your Set on DVD
You Could Grow to Love This Place: Local Hero on Blu-ray
Anglo-American: Joseph Losey Blu-ray Double Bill - The Criminal and The Go-Between
Marvel's Least Loved and Most Loved: Fantastic 4 vs Avengers: Endgame
   
 
  Hard Ticket to Hawaii Pistol packing tropical T & ABuy this film here.
Year: 1987
Director: Andy Sidaris
Stars: Ronn Moss, Dona Speir, Hope Marie Carlton, Harold Diamond, Rodrigo Obregón, Cynthia Brimhall, Patty Duffeck, Wolf Larson, Lory Green, Rustam Branaman, David DeShay, Michael A. Andrews, Kwan Hi Lim, Joseph Hieu, Peter Bromilow
Genre: Comedy, Sex, Action, Trash
Rating:  6 (from 1 vote)
Review: Scantily-clad crime fighters Donna (Dona Speir) and Taryn (Hope Marie Carlton) stumble across a cache of diamonds whilst flying tourists along the sun-drenched Hawaiian islands. Said gems belong to Seth Romero (Rodrigo Obregón), seedy bar owner/crime kingpin, who sends his eccentric goons after the busty duo. As if that weren’t enough, the girls have another problem in the slithery form of a toxin-infected snake that snuck aboard their plane and is now snarfing hapless tourists across the island. Not to worry, because the girls have an ally in oh-so-buff-and-handsome D.E.A. agent Rowdy Abilene (Ronn Moss) who arrives with his ponytailed karate expert pal, Jade (Harold Diamond). Aided by a transvestite spy (Michael A. Andrews) and a bikini-clad musclewoman (Lory Green), Romero abducts pneumatic undercover agent Edy Stark (Cynthia Brimhall), prompting Rowdy and the girls to ride to the rescue.

Hot off the back of his babes-and-bullets cult classic Malibu Express (1985), B-movie auteur Andy Sidaris minted his home video hit-making formula with Hard Ticket to Hawaii. No less silly than its predecessor yet equally ingratiating, this film established a weird postmodern trope within the Sidaris universe wherein Cody Abilene, hunky hero of the director’s previous feature, has abandoned crime-fighting to pursue a career as a movie star. In fact, a poster for Malibu Express along with several vintage Sidaris pictures adorns the bedroom of movie fan Taryn, who fantasises about being rescued-then-banged by James Bond, claiming any one of the actors would be worth her time. Bless her.

Replacing Cody, we have his cousin Rowdy, ably embodied by the handsome and personable Ronn Moss who brings goofball charm to his ridiculous role. Check out his ad-libbed reaction the moment Donna pulls out an enormous handgun that dwarfs his puny pistol. Moss’ self-deprecating turn encapsulates the performances as a whole, which are best described as ropey but enthusiastic. Playboy Playmates Dona Spier and Hope Marie Carlton prove particularly perky and engaging as ball-busting beach bunnies Donna and Taryn whom Sidaris revived in several more films well into the Nineties.

Like most of Sidaris’ output, Hard Ticket to Hawaii comes across like a raunchier episode of an Eighties action show. Something like Airwolf or The Fall Guy with bare breasts and blood. Sidaris pitched his sunny softcore fantasies at adolescent boys and undiscriminating twenty-somethings but struck a neat balance between titillating thrills and good-natured fun that did not alienate female viewers. After all, his wife Arlene Sidaris served as producer on all his films. Sidaris’ silicone starlets may doff their duds every five minutes but they kick plenty of ass and are most definitely in on the joke, which is more than can be said of many so-called erotic thrillers. Penned by Sidaris, the defiantly juvenile script is often disarmingly witty including a cameo from the man himself spoofing his parallel career as a live sports broadcast director plus a hilarious monologue delivered by pro-footballer Jimmy John Jackson (Wolf Larson) extolling the virtues of steroid abuse. Lucky J.J. gets Taryn naked for one of several gratuitous love scenes as time and again, these so-called detectives prove more interested in humping in a hot tub than cracking the case.

With spectacular scenery provided by the Kaluahoi resort in Hawaii, the combination of sun-kissed beaches and bronzed bodies proves suitably seductive, though Sidaris’ lacklustre TV-style staging undoes some of his more outrageously conceived action set-pieces. This is the one with the skateboarding assassin inexplicably wielding an inflatable sex-doll. Meanwhile Rowdy, amusingly characterised as a piss-poor shot, fights back with a six-shot bazooka and razor-edged frisbee! However the finale, with Donna caught between the snake in a toilet bowl and the bloodied but stubbornly persistent villain, proves both ludicrous and genuinely suspenseful, lifting a trick or two off Halloween (1978) of all things.

Reviewer: Andrew Pragasam

 

This review has been viewed 1519 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

 
Review Comments (0)


Untitled 1

Login
  Username:
 
  Password:
 
   
 
Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.
   

Latest Poll
Which star do you think makes the best coffee?
Emma Stone
Anna Kendrick
Michelle Rodriguez
Sir Patrick Stewart
   
 
   

Recent Visitors
Graeme Clark
Andrew Pragasam
Enoch Sneed
Darren Jones
Paul Smith
  Rachel Franke
Paul Shrimpton
  Desbris M
   

 

Last Updated: