HOME |  CULT MOVIES | COMPETITIONS | ADVERTISE |  CONTACT US |  ABOUT US
 
 
Newest Reviews
Birds of Prey: And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn
Gentlemen Broncos
To the Stars
Lady Godiva Rides Again
Angelfish
Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ
Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, A
This is a Hijack
Loved One, The
Jumanji: The Next Level
Krabi 2562
Call of the Wild, The
Diary of a Country Priest
Sea Fever
Throw Down
Grudge, The
Green Man, The
Specialists, The
Convoy
Romantic Comedy
Going Ape!
Rabid
Infinite Football
Little Women
Camino Skies
Ema
Another Shore
Cry Havoc
Legend of the Stardust Brothers, The
Mystery Team
Westward the Women
Demonwarp
Man Who Killed Don Quixote, The
Chloe
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure
Murder Inferno
Extraction
Overlanders, The
Can You Keep a Secret?
Women in Revolt
   
 
Newest Articles
Who Watched The Watchmen?
The Golden Age of Colonic Irrigation: Monty Python Series 4 on Blu-ray
Lady of Pleasure: Lola Montes on Blu-ray
Take You to the Gay Bar: Funeral Parade of Roses on Blu-ray
Hit for Ms: Mark Cousins' Women Make Film on Blu-ray
Look Sinister: The 1000 Eyes of Dr. Mabuse on Blu-ray
Star Wars Triple Threat: The Tricky Third Prequel and Sequel
I Can See for Miles: The Man with the X-Ray Eyes on Blu-ray
Too Much Pressure: The Family Way on Blu-ray
The Alan Key: Alan Klein and What a Crazy World on Blu-ray
A Japanese Ghost Story: Kwaidan on Blu-ray
The Zu Gang: Zu Warriors from the Magic Mountain on Blu-ray
Reality TV: The Year of the Sex Olympics on DVD
The Young and the Damned: They Live By Night on Blu-ray
Mind How You Go: The Best of COI on Blu-ray
Der Kommissar's in Town: Babylon Berlin Series 3 on DVD
The End of Civilisation as We Know It: The 50th Anniversary
The Whalebone Box: The Andrew Kotting Interview
Being Human: The Elephant Man on 4K UHD Blu-ray
It's! Monty Python's Flying Circus Series 3 on Blu-ray
Put the Boot In: Villain on Blu-ray
The Children's Film Foundation Bumper Box Vol. 2: Vic Pratt Interview
All the Lonely People: Sunday Bloody Sunday on Blu-ray
Desperate Characters: Beat the Devil on Blu-ray
Chansons d'Amour: Alfie Darling on Blu-ray
   
 
  Santa Claus Not Another Christmas Movie
Year: 1985
Director: Jeannot Szwarc
Stars: David Huddleston, Dudley Moore, John Lithgow, Burgess Meredith, Judy Cornwell, Jeffrey Kramer, Christian Fitzpatrick, Carrie Kei Heim, John Barrard, Anthony O'Donnell, Melvyn Hayes, Don Estelle, Tim Stern, Peter O'Farrell, Christopher Ryan, John Hallam
Genre: Fantasy, AdventureBuy from Amazon
Rating:  2 (from 2 votes)
Review: Many centuries ago, there lived a woodcutter near the Top of the World, and he was very well-liked in the community of those who braved the freezing conditions there, especially around the end of the year when he would turn up on his sleigh, pulled by reindeer and accompanied by his wife (Judy Cornwell), and distribute his own home made gifts around the children huddled against the cold. But one winter was harsher than the others, so when he set off that night he got into difficulties and he, his wife and the reindeer froze to death.

Merry Christmas everybody! No, that's not the greatest way to start your seasonal movie, but then at the time it was released nobody was much interested in Santa Claus: The Movie, as it was titled on the advertising. The reason for that was producers the Salkinds were hoping for a box office bonanza on the scale of Superman: The Movie, which they had also brought to the world, along with two lucrative sequels, so any connection they could make in the potential audience's minds with that blockbusting success would only be good for business. Make no mistake: this was pure, cynical moneymaking.

Which was naturally why it stuck in the craw of so many of the public in its day, and went on to be the sixth biggest money loser of all time, though curiously after a while those moviegoers who rejected this began to come around to it thanks to its regular showings years later on television. Yes, the wicked plan of the Salkinds had come to fruition and their ignominious disaster of epic proportions was now synonymous in many people's minds with the festivities as something they could relax with after a hectic few weeks buying presents, food and drink in preparation for the 25th of December.

But that didn't make it all right, and a film which ground to a halt halfway through to plug the wares of fast food and soft drink companies had a cheek trying to tell us about the true, non-commercial spirit of Christmas. Needless to say, not one mention of religion was allowed (Santa was assuredly not Saint Nicholas), not even of the pagan variety in light of the character's ancient and mysterious roots. Nope, all you got about him was that he was granted immortality to distribute toys every Christmas Eve, leaving Huddleston with precious little to work with aside from donning the red and white costume. This meant once that stuff had run out of steam halfway through (or actually, twenty minutes in) the writers struggled to concoct a proper plot.

What they came up with was an evil toymaker, BZ (John Lithgow), who hires Dudley Moore's newly rejected (due to a PR disaster) elf Patch to bring him a new line in toys. What he comes up with is candy which makes you float, but will also make you explode if it gets too hot; we don't actually see anyone do so, but this is so tacky and crass you cannot believe that it didn't cross the filmmakers' minds. As if that was not bad enough, events do not draw to a close on Christmas Eve itself for that special festive sensation, but a few weeks after as BZ plans a sequel to Christmas to generate more money. Being preached to by a sheer commercial enterprise such as this is galling to say the least - obviously every blockbuster wants to make major profits, but not every one had to be as hypocritical as this was. Even Jingle All the Way was more honest. And Moore's dreadful "elf" puns were enough to drive you to "elf-harm". Music by Henry Mancini.
Reviewer: Graeme Clark

 

This review has been viewed 2388 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

 

Jeannot Szwarc  (1939 - )

French director of American television, whose big screen efforts had a mixed reception, including Bug, Jaws 2, cult romance Somewhere in Time, Supergirl and Santa Claus.

 
Review Comments (2)


Untitled 1

Login
  Username:
 
  Password:
 
   
 
Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.
   

Latest Poll
Which star is the best at shouting?
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Brian Blessed
Tiffany Haddish
Steve Carell
Olivia Colman
Captain Caveman
Sylvester Stallone
Gerard Butler
Samuel L. Jackson
Bipasha Basu
   
 
   

Recent Visitors
Graeme Clark
Enoch Sneed
  Hannah Prosser
Andrew Pragasam
Darren Jones
  Butch Elliot
  Rachel Franke
Paul Smith
   

 

Last Updated: