HOME |  CULT MOVIES | COMPETITIONS | ADVERTISE |  CONTACT US |  ABOUT US
 
 
Newest Reviews
Avengers: Endgame
Vanishing Act
Critters Attack!
Prison on Fire
Dragged Across Concrete
Do the Right Thing
Hellboy
Pond Life
Lego Movie 2: The Second Part, The
Third Wife, The
Shazam!
Follow Me
Leto
Fugitive Girls
Missing Link
Chant of Jimmie Blacksmith, The
Pet Sematary
Oh... Rosalinda!!
Dumbo
Kaleidoscope
Night Is Short, Walk On Girl
Knight of Shadows: Between Yin and Yang, The
Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich
Klute
Meow
Killer Crocodile
Nutcracker Prince, The
Secret World of Og, The
Benjamin
Fifth Cord, The
Man Could Get Killed, A
Cyborg 009: Kaiju War
Heavy Trip
Nightmare Weekend
Blue Ice
Great Scout & Cathouse Thursday, The
Incident, The
Hell's Angels
Heaven and Earth
Flatliners
   
 
Newest Articles
Flight of the Navigator and the 80s Futurekids
Trains and Training: The British Transport Films Collection Volume 13 on DVD
Holiday from Hell: In Bruges on Blu-ray
The Comedy Stylings of Kurt Russell: Used Cars and Captain Ron
Robot Rocked: The Avengers Cybernauts Trilogy on Blu-ray
Hammer's Bloodthirsty Bad Girls 1970: Lust for a Vampire and Countess Dracula
Hammer to Fall: Kiss Me Deadly on Blu-ray
Home of the Grave: The House That Dripped Blood and Asylum on Blu-ray
Wondrous Women: Supergirl vs Captain Marvel
Things Have Changed: Films You'd Be Insane to Make Now
The Hole in the Ground: Director Lee Cronin Interview
She's Missing: Director Alexandra McGuinness Interview
Woo's the Boss: Last Hurrah for Chivalry & Hand of Death on Blu-ray
Get Ahead in Showbiz: Expresso Bongo and It's All Happening
Outer Space and Outta Sight: Gonks Go Beat on Blu-ray
   
 
  Fairy Tales Someday This Prince Will ComeBuy this film here.
Year: 1978
Director: Harry Hurwitz
Stars: Don Sparks, Sy Richardson, Irwin Corey, Robert Harris, Simmy Bow, Robert Staats, Martha Reeves, Brenda Fogarty, Frank Ray Perilli, Angelo Rossitto, Bob Leslie, Bob Doucette, Lindsay Freeman, Nai Bonet, Angela Aames, Anne Gaybis, Linnea Quigley
Genre: Comedy, Sex, Trash, Fantasy
Rating:  4 (from 1 vote)
Review: The Prince (Don Sparks) is awoken by his three advisors who are keen to celebrate his birthday. After rousing him and singing "Happy Birthday to You" they tell him that now he is twenty-one he really should be thinking about losing his virginity, but he has a problem in that department. The advisors see what he means when they introduce a naked woman to his bedchamber and the Prince, try as he might, simply cannot get interested in her, so he is offered an ultimatum: lose his virginity or lose his crown. Alas, the only time he is aroused is when he sees the portrait of a missing princess - he must find her...

During the seventies there was a porn explosion, if you'll pardon the phrase, and a curious subgenre of that was both hardcore and softcore versions of fairy tales. This, imaginatively named, er, Fairy Tales, was one of the softcore ones, a production from the mind of Charles Band who was making inroads into the exploitation movie business during this decade, but where you might have thought that they could delve into the psychological complexities or sexual subtexts of these stories, this was all too indicative of the lack of inspiration that most of them displayed, indeed, if it was not for the names you could well be largely unaware of the characters' origins.

If you could not work it out, then the Prince was meant to be the one from Sleeping Beauty, and he does find her at the end, where she turns out to be future scream queen of the eighties Linnea Quigley. Before her fans get to see her, however, there are a lot of mildly amusing gags and running time-stretching songs for this is actually a musical, with the characters breaking out into song without the slightest warning. One of those is a witch played by Motown legend Martha Reeves of all people, who is present only to sing and not to take part in the taking off of clothes business that makes up most of the rest of this.

Reeves gets to sing a disco number at a time when no film worth its salt was without such a tune, but in the main the songs were of the showtunes variety with lyrics that rhymed "virgin" with "surgeon", to illustrate the way that they, as the rest of the script did, went straight for the obvious gag. Most of the budget appears to have gone on creating the shoe that the old woman who lived in... well, you know, but the old woman isn't that old, and played by Brenda Fogarty as a brothel madam who only has about two prostitutes, one Snow White (Anne Gaybis), complete with surely superfluous dwarfs, and another a dominatrix who has the vocal backing of a sort of naked Andrews Sisters group.

I don't recall any dominatrices in the fairy tales I read in my youth, but even for a film that has trouble expanding to seventy-five minutes there seems to have been a dearth of material. On the Prince's journey, he meets Jack and Jill (Jack is gay and Jill, well, isn't) who fall down the hill to land at his feet, and Little Bo Peep (played by the tragically shortlived Angela Aames) who puts in the film's brightest performance amid a bunch of by the numbers readings of the "Look! We're having fun so you should be too!" variety. In truth, there's nothing too taxing here, nor does there need to be, but the lack of wit and invention leaves what is really only likely to appeal to followers of the lunacies of seventies cinema. If only there had been one of these with a run of decent jokes in them. Music by Andrew Belling.
Reviewer: Graeme Clark

 

This review has been viewed 4833 time(s).

As a member you could Rate this film

 
Review Comments (0)


Untitled 1

Login
  Username:
 
  Password:
 
   
 
Forgotten your details? Enter email address in Username box and click Reminder. Your details will be emailed to you.
   

Latest Poll
Which star do you think makes the best coffee?
Emma Stone
Anna Kendrick
Michelle Rodriguez
Sir Patrick Stewart
   
 
   

Recent Visitors
Graeme Clark
Andrew Pragasam
  Rachel Franke
Paul Shrimpton
  Desbris M
Enoch Sneed
  Derrick Smith
Darren Jones
   

 

Last Updated: