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  She Future Schlock
Year: 1982
Director: Avi Nesher
Stars: Sandahl Bergman, David Goss, Quin Kessler, Harrison Muller Jr, Elena Weidermann, Gordon Mitchell, Laurie Sherman, Andrew McLeay, Cyrus Elias, David Brandon, Susan Adler, Gregory Snegoff, Mary D'Antin, Mario Pedone, Donald Hodson, Maria Cumani Quasimodo
Genre: Trash, Science Fiction, FantasyBuy from Amazon
Rating:  4 (from 1 vote)
Review: It is year 23 after the Cancellation, an apocalyptic event that almost wiped civilisation from the face of the Earth in a nuclear cataclysm. Two brothers and their sister, Tom (David Goss), Dick (Harrison Muller Jr) and Hari (Elena Weidermann) cross a river on a boat, landing in a barter town which they investigate until a group of warriors on horseback appear over the horizon and bear down on the assembled company. Tom and Dick put up a brave fight, but they and their sister are captured by the forces of She (Sandahl Bergman), a woman whose regular bathing in a pool of eternal life has transformed her into a goddess. Tom and Dick are separated from Hari, so how will they rescue her when they have their own problems to contend with?

You remember the story of She, don't you? "She Who Must Be Obeyed", the H. Rider Haggard novel, all that? Well, even if you don't, it doesn't matter with this film for which the book gets the sinister "Inspired by" credit which basically means "Nothing to do with". What it actually is is a cross between those exploitation staples of the eighties, the post apocalypse, Mad Max style, futuristic battle movie and the sword and sorcery, Conan the Barbarian style, fantasy movie. It was scripted by its director, Avi Nesher, whose credit during the opening titles of this is his name hoving into view then losing every letter except the "she" bit, which, through the wonder of animation, becomes the sparkling movie name. Ingenious.

If you were in any doubt that Mr Nesher was the author here and not Mr Haggard, then that uncertainty will be dispelled when the plot gets underway. She is worshipped by a tribe of bowing and chanting followers all right, but Tom and Dick are poisoned by an untrustworthy woman who pretends to give them shelter, then sold into slavery. This doesn't last long as the resourceful Tom frees not only himself but the somewhat rough and ready Dick as well, and what continues as a storyline is these two and their adventures with trying to pinpoint the location of their sister, and undergoing their own personal odyssey across the land when they encounter various, shall we say, eccentric characters along the way.

Meanwhile they are being chased by She and her sidekick Shandra (Quin Kessler), similarly attired - it may be set decades in the future, but headbands are most definitely in. Tom and Dick end up in the supposedly civilised country mansion of a bunch of toga wearing aesthetes, who are dismayed at Dick's poor deportment, but not half as dismayed as Tom and Dick are when they find out that their hosts are werewolves. Why are they werewolves? Presumably for the same reason that She was seen swordfighting with a Frankenstein's Monster earlier on. Whatever that is. The duo are saved by She and her comrades, and go on to meet a sorcerer with psychic powers, a giant bearded man wearing a tutu and a gasmask, and most formidable of all, the Norks. Now don't get any ideas, this film's Norks are wicked warriors led by Gordon Mitchell, although you do wonder how they got their name. There are signs that this is supposed to be a spoof, as for example there's a comedian who appears at one point who mulitiplies whenever he has his head cut off, yet despite the weirdness a feeling of boredom settles early and only occasionally lifts. Music by Rick Wakeman, prog fans.
Reviewer: Graeme Clark

 

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